Edge of the Couch The Problem with Therapist Promises and Guarantees
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Feb 18, 2026 They unpack why promising fixed outcomes or eternal availability in therapy is risky. They explore how over-assurance can hinder clients from building coping skills and facing disappointment. They discuss naming limits, revising past promises, and holding gradual hope without miraculous guarantees.
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The 'I Won't Abandon You' Promise
- Allison describes the common promise therapists make of 'I won't abandon you' to soothe clients with relational trauma.
- She links this to clients with borderline presentations seeking assurance and therapists responding from a well-meaning place or ego.
Therapists Can't Promise Permanence
- Jordan explains therapists can't promise permanence because therapists are human and life can intervene unexpectedly.
- She frames human connection as conditional, and that knowing impermanence is a key part of relational learning in therapy.
Phrase Availability As Hopes Not Guarantees
- Jordan recommends framing availability as aims rather than guarantees, e.g., 'my hope is to make sessions' and to name possible cancellations.
- She suggests explicitly discussing limits (illness, schedule changes) to avoid later ruptures and broken trust.