Addicted to Toxic Relationships: Trauma, Sex Work, and The Fight for Recovery

A lot of people think addiction begins with a bad decision. We start earlier—at the moments when consent was stolen, trust collapsed, and silence felt safer than speaking. Carly sits down with us to map the real terrain: childhood sexual assault, a near-rape behind a high school bonfire, military harassment that exploited rank, and the long slide from alcohol to meth, from oxy to heroin. The story is raw and specific, and it asks a bigger question we should all be wrestling with: what if addiction isn’t the disease, but the way we cope with the ones we don’t treat?

We walk through the culture of the OxyContin generation, the false safety of pills, and why heroin often follows when access dries up. Carly explains how meth’s euphoria and laser focus quieted a mind on fire, and why boundaries—not willpower—became the non‑negotiable tools of her recovery. We dig into homelessness, the dangerous logic of abusive relationships, and a nuanced view of sex work as both survival and, at times, chosen agency. It’s complicated on purpose; real lives are.

What stands out most is the timeline. She got clean from heroin years before she learned relationship sobriety. That difference matters to anyone supporting survivors or working in addiction medicine: cravings don’t exist in a vacuum, and trauma doesn’t disappear at discharge. We talk about “playing the tape forward,” spotting red flags early, and building safety that might look extreme to outsiders but keeps a survivor alive and growing.

If you care about trauma-informed recovery, sexual assault, military harassment, homelessness, sex work, and the real mechanics of healing, you’ll find honesty here you can use. Listen, share with someone who needs to hear it, and leave a review so others can find the show. Your feedback helps us keep having the hard conversations that save lives.

To contact Dr. Grover: ammadeeasy@fastmail.com