Has anyone told José that it's still pre-season and a 5-2 loss to Real Betis didn't need five red cards for a mix of Roma players and staff? The Greatest Hits tour continues, it seems...

Kate, Pete and Jim have plenty of football to get stuck into, as the EFL season opened with a bang and Leicester completed their silverware sweep with a crucial Community Shield victory. We also get the latest on the death of football's soul with Lionel Messi's enforced move to the Empire nearing completion.

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Not Fast, Too Furious: The José Mourinho story