The Dissenter

#660 William Costello: The Psychology of Involuntary Celibates (Incels)

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Aug 4, 2022
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INSIGHT

Misreading Women's Preferences Lowers Accuracy

  • Incels report low self-perceived mate value and misperceive women's preferences, over-emphasizing looks and money while underrating kindness and humor.
  • They do not hold higher minimum standards than others; they often set lower standards yet still mispredict women's true minimums.
ANECDOTE

Incels Talk If You Listen

  • Costello found incels were willing to talk when researchers listened, despite general mistrust of institutions.
  • He notes much incel online rhetoric is performative trolling that complicates psychological assessment.
ADVICE

Acknowledge Problems To Maintain Therapeutic Rapport

  • Therapists should avoid dismissing evolutionary explanations or gaslighting incels' lived struggles.
  • Build rapport by acknowledging their difficulties and combining empathy with evidence-based interventions.
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