The Argument

Stop Letting Instagram Explain Your Love Life -- The Science of Attraction

Feb 23, 2026
Paul Eastwick, UC Davis psychology professor and author of Bonded by Evolution, debunks pop-evolutionary myths about attraction. He contrasts stated versus revealed preferences, explains why surveys differ from real-life chemistry, critiques the dating-as-market idea, and explores how apps and communal norms shape who we fall for.
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INSIGHT

Stated Preferences Differ From Real Attraction

  • People report gendered mate preferences in surveys, like men valuing attractiveness and women valuing earning potential more than the other gender does.
  • Paul Eastwick points out these are ratings of trait beliefs, not necessarily predictors of who people actually choose when meeting face to face.
INSIGHT

Trait Premiums Show Up Equally In Live Interaction

  • In speed-dating studies, high earning potential raised desirability about 10% for both men and women, showing symmetry.
  • Eastwick uses this to argue trait premiums often help all genders equally in live interaction, unlike abstract survey claims.
INSIGHT

Evolved Does Not Mean Unchangeable

  • Labeling a trait as evolved doesn't mean it's hard or impossible to change; genetic explanations are often misread as deterministic.
  • Eastwick stresses mechanism-focused research over binary 'evolved vs cultural' debates to find changeable levers.
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