The Power of Empathy in Negotiation

Chris Voss spent 24 years in the FBI and was the FBI's lead international kidnapping and hostage negotiator for 4 years. He was an Instructor of International Business Negotiation at Harvard and is an Adjunct Professor at Georgetown and University of Southern California MBA programs. He is author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It. He founded the Black Swan Group which is a negotiating consulting firm that applies his field tested lessons of hostage, crisis and kidnapping negotiation to the business negotiation world.

• [0:24] Jeremy's introduction of this episode and his guest, Christopher Voss.
• [1:59] Kidnapping in the Philippines and how the bad guys complimented Chris' negotiation team.
• [10:36] How Chris learned to use "that's right" as a powerful negotiating technique.
• [13:46] How empathy fits into the task of negotiation.
• [19:46] Why champions practice and what it means for negotiations.
• [24:40] The skill of labeling in a negotiation setting.
• [31:58] Using mirroring to get people ready to respond or chat.
• [35:17] Chris' childhood and growing up in Iowa.
• [39:26] The steps Chris takes to prepare himself for a negotiation.
• [46:41] Why there is always leverage in any negotiation.
• [51:35] How Chris chose his co-author and stories not included in the book.
• [53:40] Why people are hesitant to let the other side go first.
• [56:59] The lowest point in Chris' career and how he pushed through.
• [59:49] How to connect with Chris and find more about negotiation tactics.

Negotiation tactics may sound like some kind of manipulative ploy to get people to do what you want, but Christopher Voss, one of the FBI's most successful hostage negotiators in history, says that negotiation is not about manipulation, it's about understanding the person on the other side of the conversation. In this interview, you'll hear Chris unpack that definition and learn some very basic but powerful negotiations tactics that you can use in everyday life.

Getting the person you are talking with to the point of saying "That's right" is a pivotal point in any negotiation. It's the point when you know that you've understood their side of the argument and that they are beginning to feel that you are someone who genuinely wants to help them. Find out how to use the "that's right" principle to advance your negotiations on this episode.

Christopher Voss says that one of the simplest but most powerful negotiation tactics the average person can learn is the practice of labeling. It's learning a specific way to re-express what has been said to you that disarms and deflates the tension in the conversation, enabling you to get further in your negotiation. You can find out how to use labeling and what it can mean for your next business deal in this conversation.

You've heard it said that you want to get to "Yes" in business negotiations. But Chris Voss says it's more important to get to "no." When a person is able to respond to you with a "no" answer, it gives them a sense of power and leverage that will lead them to tell more of what is really on their mind instead of keeping up a facade of control and composure. It's an amazing negotiation tactic that yields great results.

Did you know that putting yourself into a positive mindset before any conversation will enable you to more effectively deal with the conversation? A positive mood will make you 31% more effective in processing information, hearing what others are saying, and having an impact on the conversation in a positive way. You can learn how to do it on this episode of Inspired Insider.

• Black Swan Limited
• BOOK: Never Split The Difference
• BOOK: Start with No
• BOOK: Beyond Winning
• BOOK: Focus
• BOOK: Originals
• BOOK: Give and Take
• BOOK: Never Eat Alone