The Ramble: Give him the BRIT Awards
Football Ramble
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The Duxty New Lever
Maguire needs to do three appearances off the bench for Burnley this season. Bruno Fernandez is likely to replace him as captain at Old Trafford. Barcelona are selling diamonds made from the Camp Nou Grass. And they're using the same company who turned Pele's hair into diamonds all those years ago. Gary Neville would snap it up, wouldn't he?
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