How to Keep Your Humanity
The Science of Happiness
The psychology of compliance and defiance
Dr. Sunita Sah explains socialization for compliance and how values guide defiance under pressure.
Discover what happens to our well-being when we respond to suffering with compassion, collective action, and why choosing to care can help us hold on to our shared humanity.
Summary: In the face of widespread suffering, many of us struggle with how to respond without becoming overwhelmed or numb. Drawing on research and real-world experience, this episode of The Science of Happiness examines the psychological impact of bearing witness, acting in alignment with our values, and showing up for others—even when it’s hard. We look at how compassion, agency, and a sense of common humanity can both strengthen resilience and carry real emotional costs, and why people continue to act anyway.
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How To Do This Practice:
- Pause and name what’s happening: Take a moment to notice what you’re feeling as you witness suffering or injustice—anger, grief, numbness, confusion. Naming the emotion helps calm the stress response and keeps you from shutting down or looking away.
- Reconnect with common humanity: Remind yourself: there are no “good people” and “bad people”—there are people.
- Clarify your values on paper: Write down one to three values that matter most to you right now (for example: compassion, integrity, dignity, justice). Studies show that writing values down lowers stress and makes it more likely you’ll act in alignment with them.
- Gently ask yourself: “What does a person like me—with these values—do in a situation like this?” Consider what access, safety, or influence you may have, and what constraints you face. Acting with integrity looks different for everyone, and this step helps you choose a response that is both values-aligned and realistic.
- Choose a safe, doable action: Action doesn’t have to be loud or risky. It might be writing, speaking up in a meeting, supporting someone directly, or adding your voice to a collective effort. Even small actions strengthen agency and social connection.
- Reflect and reconnect: After you act, check in with yourself. Notice any sense of alignment, relief, meaning, grief, or fear. Acting with integrity won’t erase pain, but it helps protect mental health and shapes who we become over time.
Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.
Today’s Guests:
DR. FEROZE SIDHWA is a trauma, and critical care surgeon in California. He has also worked as a physician in Haiti, Ukraine and Palestine.
Learn more about Dr. Feroze Sidhwa here: https://www.ferozesidhwa.org/
DR. AKIVA LEBOWITZ is a physician and critical care specialist.
Learn more about Dr. Akiva Lebowitz here: https://akivaforbrookline.com/
DR. SUNITA SAH is a social scientist, author, and psychologist.
Learn more about Dr. Sunita Sah here: https://www.sunitasah.com/
Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.
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Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/48wz2vru
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