Listener Tales and Lincoln Fact

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball talk football, travel & language. There’s breaking news on how to pronounce Taty Castellanos, hear from the voice of the 'corpsing classifieds' and TCV goes musical. Plus ‘Unintended Pub Names’ maybe reaches its peak; Clash of the Commentators goes to Scandinavia and how you can use the pod to impress your mates. Messages and voicenotes on WhatsApp to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

00:30 Chocolate is good for you? 02:00 John recovered from Newcastle- Qarabağ, 03:40 5 Live commentaries this weekend, 08:50 Castellanos pronunciation news, 11:50 The voice of the corpsing classifieds! 17:10 Lawn mowers & palm trees, 21:40 TCV goes musical, 25:20 Unintended pub names, 35:30 Clash of the Commentators, 44:45 Great Glossary of Football Commentary, 49:40 A final message from Luke in Norway.

5 Live / BBC Sounds commentaries: Sat 1500 Liverpool v West Ham with Ian Dennis & Stephen Warnock, Sat 1500 Newcastle v Everton on Sports Extra with Eilidh Barbour & James McFadden, Sat 1730 Leeds v Man City with John Murray & Paul Robinson, Sun 1200 Rangers v Celtic with Alasdair Lamond & Pat Nevin, Sun 1400 Man Utd v Crystal Palace with John Murray & Dion Dublin, Sun 1400 Fulham v Tottenham on Sports Extra with John Acres & Mark Schwarzer, Sun 1400 Brighton v Forest on Sports Extra 2 with Chris Wise & Luke Chambers, Sun 1630 Arsenal v Chelsea with Ali Bruce-Ball & Matt Upson.

Great Glossary of Football Commentary: DIVISION ONE Agricultural challenge, Back of the net, Back to square one, Booked, Bosman, Bullet header, Coupon buster, Cruyff Turn, Cultured/educated left foot, Dead-ball specialist, Draught excluder, Elastico/flip-flap, False nine, Fox in the box, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Grub hunter, Head tennis, Hibs it, In a good moment, In behind, Magic of the FA Cup, The Maradona, Off their line, Olimpico, Onion bag, Panenka, Park the bus, Perfect hat-trick, Rabona, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Schmeichel-style, Scorpion kick, Spursy, Stick it in the mixer, Sweeper keeper, Target man, Tiki-taka, Towering header, Trivela, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep. DIVISION TWO 2-0 can be a dangerous score, Back on the grass, Ball stays hit, Beaten all ends up, Blaze over the bar, Business end, Came down with snow on it, Catching practice, Camped in the opposition half, Cauldron atmosphere Coat is on a shoogly peg, Come back to haunt them, Corridor of uncertainty, Couldn’t sort their feet out, Easy tap-in, Daisy-cutter, First cab off the rank, Giant-killing, Good leave, Good touch for a big man, Half-turn, Has that in his locker, High wide and not very handsome, Hospital pass, Howler, In the dugout, In the hat, In their pocket, Johnny on the spot, Leading the line, Leather a shot, Middle of the park, Needed no second invitation, Nice headache to have, Nutmeg, On their bike, One for the cameras, One for the purists, Played us off the park, Points to the spot, Prawn sandwich brigade, Purple patch, Put their laces through it, Reaches for their pocket, Rolls Royce, Root and branch review, Row Z, Screamer, Seats on the plane, Show across the bows, Slide-rule pass, Steal a march, Straight in the bread basket, Stramash, Taking one for the team, Telegraphed that pass, Tired legs, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike, Turns on a sixpence, Walk it in, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands. UNSORTED After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Bag/box of tricks, Brace, Brandished, Bread and butter, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Keystone Cops defending, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Opposite number, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Route One, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Shooting boots, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Taking one for the team, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Two good feet, Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Usher/Shepherd the ball out of play, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.