Beyond 'Just Say No' Counseling

In our ongoing discussions of the Desert Fathers’ writings, especially upon sexual desire and sensuality as a whole, one comes to the realization that we have to read in a discerning fashion. In other words, we cannot be lazy while sitting at the feet of the elders. Their wisdom grew out of experience. However, it was the experience of the desert and of monks. What they discovered and understood is unparalleled in its value for the life of the Church and our understanding of spirituality.  Yet, although they saw so very much it does not mean they saw everything or that they articulated it in a way that is going to speak to every generation in the same fashion. Every generation, every person, must embrace and embody the fullness of the gospel through striving to enter by the narrow way. The ascetic life is our exercise of that faith and every generation will have particular struggles and battles that are unique to it. In a time like our own, when so many aspects of the culture have been hyper-sexualized, living a life of purity of heart can seem to be not only a difficult but impossible pursuit. While we can see that the dignity of human sexuality and women change radically with Christianity, those changes were not immediate or complete and we see lingering vestiges where women are seen as the cause of sin.

This implants in the spirituality of purity of heart and the struggle with temptation a kind of misogyny, a temptation to the hatred of the self and of sexuality. Inevitably this leaves a void in our understanding and practice of the faith that can be disastrous. Rather than seeing the dignity of the human person made in the image and likeness of God and our destiny in Christ to participate in the Divine life, we can drift into a lifeless moralism. Christianity must speak to the deepest part of a person‘s religiosity; capturing what it means to be a human being, fully alive and transformed by the grace of God.

Even as we sit at the feet of the Fathers, we must keep our eyes upon Christ; for it is in Him alone, that we can plumb the depths of mysteries of God and the kingdom, but also the mystery of what it is to be a human being. Purity of heart is much more about what we can see having removed the impediment of the ego or of disorder desires. Far from being restrictive, it gives us a greater capacity to love and be loved. What is needed in our day are saints who embody this reality so fully that their lives reveal to us the deepest truths about ourselves and God. Only saints stand transparent to the fullness of truth revealed to us in Christ.

---

Text of chat during the group:

00:12:51 Bob Čihák, AZ: P 227, I

00:14:06 Bob Čihák, AZ: P 227, I

00:24:18 Una: Let the past stay in the past, in other words

00:24:32 Diana Sciuto: Reacted to "Let the past stay in…" with ❤️

00:24:49 Mary Clare Wax: This is why it is so important to live in the present moment. The past is dead, the future yet unborn. God is the God of "I Am", not "I Was," or "I Will Be."

00:25:05 Myles Davidson: Reacted to "This is why it is so..." with 👍

00:25:23 Diana Sciuto: Reacted to "This is why it is so…" with 👍

00:26:08 Una: The movie and book "Sophie's Choice" really illustrates the danger

00:26:44 Una: Her memories of trauma

00:34:19 Sr. Mary Clare: Very interesting that the First Reading at Mass today was about Susanna and the Elders lusting after her.

00:34:46 Una: Reacted to "Very interesting t..." with 👍

00:35:27 Sr. Charista Maria: It seems this was the issue with the Pharisees who confronted Jesus for being too close to women, such as the one who washed His feet with her tears. They were projecting their impurity of their hearts onto Him, whose heart is so pure.

00:36:17 Sr. Mary Clare: Reacted to "It seems this was th..." with 👍

00:37:56 Anthony: "Purity Culture"?

00:39:27 Nypaver Clan: Chastity ring or Promise ring almost like a pre-engagement ring

00:43:48 Sr. Charista Maria: Great point Fr.

00:52:51 Sr. Charista Maria: I think of the issue the Pharisees had who confronted Jesus for being too close to women, such as the one who washed His feet with her tears. They were projecting the impurity of their hearts onto Him, whose heart is so pure.

00:53:27 Sr. Mary Clare: Reacted to "I think of the issue..." with ❤️

00:59:27 Anthony: I wonder if any of the women here can enlighten us whether in a woman's general spiritual outlook, there can be a "negative anthropology" about men when they pursue purity? Or are the women in a different dimension in this regard?

00:59:40 Julie: I think it starts with our watchfulness of thoughts.

01:01:02 Julie: I taught my sons to see women as someone’s mother, sister or a daughter with that respect and love in their beauty

01:02:59 Sr. Charista Maria: Agreed Fr. Women bring the heart, such as Mary.

01:04:20 Sr. Mary Clare: It this day and age, it seems to be more of a Jezebel spirit among us.

01:07:45 Anthony: "You will be just like my horse, my dog and my falcon, only I will love you more and trust you less." Pharoah Ramses in The Ten Commandments

01:08:04 Bob Čihák, AZ: “Men and Marriage” by George Gilder is an excellent book for our  current times. He strips off the lies of radical feminist ideologies.

01:08:39 Sr. Charista Maria: Agree with you regarding the Theology of the Body needing more commentary on the transcending aspect of our sexuality.

01:19:04 Sr. Mary Clare: Well said, Father, you are so right concerning this.

01:20:08 Sr. Charista Maria: Reacted to "Well said, Father, y..." with 👍

01:26:11 Sr. Mary Clare: We are called not to be possessive in our love

01:27:26 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you🙂

01:27:27 Forrest Cavalier: Thank you so much!

01:27:42 Troy Amaro: Thank You Father.