Be Specific About What You Need

Julia suggests concrete requests like listening windows and single open questions to change manager behavior.

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You’re not trying to control people. You’re trying to help. But what if your “help” is quietly draining your team’s confidence, creativity, and trust? In this episode, I sit down with Professor Julia Milner of EDHEC Business School to talk about the psychology of micromanagement, especially the kind that comes from anxiety, care, and good intentions. We dive into the difference between constructive feedback and control disguised as questions, the “advice trap” that keeps leaders stuck, and why micromanaging often feels safer in the moment but costs you long-term trust, dialogue, and time. Tune in to learn how to replace fixing with serving, advice with curiosity, and control with empowerment.

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In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 Why micromanagers often act from anxiety.

04:15 How to spot motivational micromanagement.

06:30 Why do you hate being micromanaged?

12:00 How micromanagement increases anxiety on both sides.

14:15 The subtle way “questions” can shut down dialogue.

18:00 How to give upward feedback without triggering defensiveness.

20:45 What it means to adopt a coaching mindset.

22:00 Phrases you can use to reset a micromanaging dynamic.

28:45 What’s the difference between feedback and feed forward?

30:30 How do you treat yourself with grace?

33:00 What the best empowering leaders all have in common.