Delights Instead of Forced Gratitude

Have you noticed how the more we're connected by the internet and have all these gadgets, the lonelier we get? The things we thought would bring us together are actually making us more isolated than ever.

That is the conversation I had with Dr. Laurie Santos. She is a Yale professor, an expert on happiness, and the woman behind Psychology and the Good Life, the most popular class Yale has ever offered. She also hosts her own hit podcast, The Happiness Lab, focused on the science of feeling good. 

In this episode, Dr. Laurie breaks down why English-speaking countries are quietly getting unhappier, why manifesting the reward actually makes you less likely to chase it, and why the expert on gratitude herself doesn't love gratitude journaling. She explains the neuroscience of wanting versus liking, why self-care has quietly become self-indulgence, and the mindset shifts that matter more than any routine, supplement, or practice on the internet.

She also gets into why doomscrolling is stealing more from you than your time, the two parts of happiness you actually need both of, and the simple habits the research supports when every trendy protocol around you does not.

If you have been doing everything you are supposed to do and still feel off, this episode might confirm something you’ve known about yourself and your happiness for a long time. 

What's Discussed:

• (01:30) How Dr. Laurie ended up at Yale teaching the most popular class in the school's history.

• (04:15) Why happiness is a skill you practice, not a personality trait you are born with.

• (07:40) The two kinds of happiness most people confuse and why you need both.

• (11:05) Why money past a certain number stops making you any happier.

• (14:30) The science behind why paraplegics and lottery winners end up at the same happiness baseline.

• (18:20) Why comparison is the single biggest thief of happiness in modern life.

• (22:10) Why the silver medalist looks more miserable than the bronze medalist.

• (26:45) Why non-English speakers are happier according to studies.

• (31:20) The dopamine trap of social media and why you crave what you don't even like.

• (35:50) Why your phone is the Nutrasweet of real connection.

• (40:15) Why boredom is the skill modern kids are losing and why it matters.

• (44:30) The shock study that reveals how uncomfortable we have become with our own thoughts.

• (49:10) Why the gratitude expert herself doesn't vibe with gratitude journaling.

• (52:40) Dr. Laurie's alternative to gratitude that actually sticks.

• (57:05) Why self-compassion beats self-criticism for every single goal you have.

• (1:01:30) Why self-care is not a bubble bath and what it actually looks like.

• (1:06:15) The research that shows manifestation is making you less likely to get what you want.

• (1:10:40) The WOOP framework and why it is the version of manifesting that actually works.

• (1:15:20) Why work-life balance is the wrong goal and what to aim for instead.

• (1:19:45) What Dr. Laurie tells her students to do in just ten minutes a day to feel happier.

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Find more from Jen Cohen: 

Website: www.jennifercohen.comInstagram: @therealjencohenBooks: www.jennifercohen.com/books

Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagements

Find more from Dr. Laurie Santos:

Website:www.drlauriesantos.com/Instagram: @lauriesantosofficial Facebook: Dr. Laurie Santos YouTube: @DrLaurieSantosTiktok: @drlauriesantosThreads: @lauriesantosofficialX: @lauriesantos Podcast: The Happiness Lab