Why autism identification changed everything

Patty Laushman, a speaker, autism life coach, and the author of the book Parenting for Independence: Overcoming Failure to Launch in Autistic Emerging Adults, joins me to talk about one of the misunderstood stages of parenting: supporting our neurodivergent kids as they move into emerging adulthood. In our conversation, Patty and I unpack the concept of “failure to launch,” why that label is actually unhelpful and inaccurate, and how redefining independence can change everything. We talk about self-determination, motivation, and what support actually looks like during this phase of life. Patty also shares her SBN parenting framework—Support, Boundaries, and Nudges—and offers grounded, compassionate guidance for navigating this transition while strengthening trust and connection along the way.

About Patty Laushman

Patty Laushman is an author, speaker, educator, and coach who specializes in supporting neurodivergent individuals and the families who love them. With both personal and professional experience, she deeply understands the challenges of being neurodivergent in a world designed for those who are more neurotypical—and the transformative power of the right kind of support.

She is the founder and head coach at Thrive Autism Coaching, where she and her team help neurodivergent teens and adults, as well as their parents, build the skills and confidence needed to thrive. Patty developed the SBN™ parenting framework, a step-by-step system that teaches parents how to use support, boundaries, and nudges to help their autistic emerging adults reclaim motivation, build momentum, and move toward more meaningful lives on their own terms.

Through her Parenting for Independence group coaching program, Patty has guided hundreds of families through this unexpected stage of parenting—helping them rebuild trust, strengthen relationships, and finally start seeing progress. Her compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming approach has been described by clients as “the only thing that has ever worked for us.”She lives with her husband, son, and Golden Retriever in the Denver/Boulder metro area. In her spare time, you’ll find her hiking, camping, headbanging to heavy metal, or devouring medical or crime dramas.

Things you'll learn from this episode  

• How understanding a child’s lived experience lays the groundwork for more effective, compassionate parenting

• Why the term “failure to launch,” while loaded, can help families find the right support and resources

• How redefining independence to include positive interdependence supports healthier outcomes for emerging adults

• Why self-determination is central to helping neurodivergent young adults move out of stuckness and burnout

• How the SBN framework—Support, Boundaries, and Nudges—guides parents in creating momentum without control

• Why resetting expectations and timelines can ease parental shame and anxiety while supporting real growth

Resources mentioned

• Patty Laushman’s website Thrive Autism Coaching

• Parenting for Independence: Overcoming Failure to Launch in Autistic Emerging Adults by Patty Laushman

• How to Get Your Autistic Emerging Adult in the Driver’s Seat of Their Life (freebie from Patty)

• Parenting for Independence (Patty’s program)

• Private Coaching for Parents with Patty

• The Real Work of Parenting Neurodivergent Young Adults (Part 1) — a crossover episode with Penny Williams (Full-Tilt Parenting podcast)

• The Real Work of Parenting ND Young Adults (Part 2) (Beautifully Complex podcast)

• A Conservation with Dr. Gina Riley on Self-Determination Theory & Motivation (Full-Tilt Parenting)

• A Conversation with Linda Murphy About Declarative Language episode (Full-Tilt Parenting)

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