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1218: Love Smarter by Learning When to Take a Break by Kerry Lusignan of Gottman on Pacing Yourself as a Couple

Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

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Time Outs Can't Last Forever

Doctor gotman recommends they should last at least 20 minutes, since it will take that much time for your bodies to physiologically calm down. If the break turns into a stale mate, the prolonged silence can be injurious and erode trust in your relationship. In most relationships, there is one partner who pursues more and one who distances more. And though this dynamic can cause real pain for couple, it is not a measure of love. Your focus should be on achieving reconnection sooner than later. Cultivate an attitude of no big deal. Love smarter by paying attention to the when, the what and the how before taking a break.

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