Absence, Guilt, and Not Wanting to Be His Dad

In this episode, I sit down with Nikki Sixx — founder of Mötley Crüe, rock legend, bestselling author, and a man whose story goes so much deeper than anything that ever happened on a stage.

This conversation is not about the music. It's about what happens when a boy grows up without his father, carries that wound through decades of addiction and chaos, and finally — through sobriety, therapy, forgiveness, and faith — becomes the kind of dad his own kids can always run to.

Nikki opens up about growing up without his dad in the picture, how the story he was told about his father wasn't the full truth, and the slow and painful process of forgiving both his parents. He shares the defining therapy session where a frumpy office, a dusty couch, and one sentence from his therapist — "you don't have to love your mom" — cracked something open in him that changed everything.

We talk about sobriety, and Nikki is direct: it always gets worse before it gets better. When you remove the substance, you have to face what's underneath. But if you can survive that first year, your whole life reorganizes. He's 20 years sober, and what he's built on the other side of that — as a husband, a father of five, a writer, and a creative — is nothing short of remarkable.

And Larry's son Ethan jumps in with a question that leads to one of the most important moments of the episode: Nikki's warning to today's teenagers about the very real and deadly danger of fentanyl-laced drugs — from someone who has lived every version of this story.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities

[1:01] Introducing Nikki Sixx — founder of Mötley Crüe, author, and one of the most unexpected guests in Dad Edge history

[2:28] Growing up on vinyl, discovering music, and the self-discovery of being a young man in a different era

[5:13] Both Larry and Nikki share the experience of growing up without their fathers — and how it shaped them

[6:00] Writing The First 21 — the story of Frankie Farina, his dad's name, and what Nikki discovered about his father that surprised him

[7:15] How the absence of a father manifests differently in every man — and why Nikki's came out as anger in his late teens

[10:36] Larry's own story: being reunited with his father at 30 and building a relationship over 16 years

[13:30] Getting to maturity means facing reality — and what Nikki's kids get to see by watching their dad work through his own stuff

[14:22] Being gone on tour while raising kids — the guilt of absence and the work of making amends

[15:35] No gold records on the walls: how Nikki deliberately kept his celebrity out of the home to protect his kids

[16:32] "Not wanting to be my dad made me a better dad — but forgiving my dad might make me an even better one"

[17:16] At 62 with a two-year-old: what legacy do you want to leave, and how do you get there without carrying old baggage?

[18:31] Put down the baggage — it's heavy, it's exhausting, and it's crushing the people who love you most

[19:23] The therapy session that changed Nikki's life: a dusty office, beams of light, and "you don't have to love your mom"

[21:19] Letting go of the victim story and reclaiming the good — his dad was creative, his mom was charismatic, and Nikki carries both

[23:28] Creating a home where your kids can always call dad — no matter what, no matter when

[24:19] How unforgiveness clouds your ability to love the people right in front of you

[25:36] Why Nikki shares his story publicly — so someone else doesn't have to wait as long to have their moment

[29:18] When your daughter says "dad, you seem so happy" — the moment you know it's working

[30:11] Ethan tells Larry "I love my life" — and why that's the greatest thing a father can hear

[31:04] Moving from LA to Wyoming: finding simplicity in nature, watching moose in the yard, and what wildlife teaches about family

[37:24] 20 years of sobriety — and why Nikki says it is an absolute gift

[37:43] The hard truth about getting sober: it always gets worse before it gets better, and most people quit too soon

[41:28] Larry's 90-day sobriety challenge with 30 men — and what clarity feels like when you strip alcohol away

[43:41] Why humans are the only animals that can completely change the shape of their mind and body — and what that means for how we live

[45:21] Men's stag meetings, male support systems, and why Nikki found brotherhood in sobriety that he never had growing up

[47:37] Ethan's question for Nikki: what advice would you give a teenager in this generation?

[48:39] Nikki's urgent warning about fentanyl — the drugs today are not what they were, and they are killing healthy young athletes at parties

[50:19] How Nikki got sober: losing every friend, throwing himself into health and fitness, and writing Doctor Feelgood

Five Key Takeaways

1. The story you were told about your father may not be the full truth. Until you do the work to find out who he really was, you're carrying someone else's version of your own life.
2. Unforgiveness doesn't hurt the person you're holding it against — it closes you off from the people right in front of you who love you and need you.
3. Sobriety always gets worse before it gets better. When you remove the substance, you have to face what's underneath. That is the work — and it's worth it.
4. The greatest thing you can build as a father is an environment where your kids feel safe enough to call you when things go wrong — not hide it from you.
5. The drugs today are not what they were. Fentanyl doesn't care how healthy or young you are. This is not a conversation to put off with your kids.

Links & Resources

• Roommates to Soulmates Cohort & Preview Call: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com
• The First 21 by Nikki Sixx: Available on Amazon
• Follow Nikki Sixx on Instagram: @nikkisixxpixx
• Episode Link & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/343

Closing

If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: the baggage you're carrying is not just yours to bear — it's being felt by every person in your home.

Nikki Sixx spent decades carrying wounds from a father who left and a mother who filled in the gaps with half-truths. And it wasn't until he put that baggage down — through sobriety, through therapy, through the hard work of forgiveness — that he could fully show up for his wife and his five kids.

That is the work. It's not glamorous, it's not fast, and it doesn't happen all at once. But on the other side of it is a man his daughter looks at and says, "Dad, you seem so happy."

That is the goal.

If this episode hit close to home, share it with a man who needs to hear it. Because every man deserves to put the weight down.

Go out and live legendary.