Leader isolation and trusted confidants

Welcome back to another episode of Monday Matters! This week, Will Parker and Jen Schwanke are taking some time to reflect on lessons they have learned through coaching school leaders. Listen in to hear the full conversation! This week’s episode was inspired by a post written by Will. You can read it below:

Lessons learned in coaching leaders

by William D. Parker

Over the past several years of working with school leaders across the country, a few lessons have become increasingly clear.

In 2017, when I transitioned from principal to executive director of my state principal association, I put more than 30,000 miles on my car in my first year in that role.

My goal was to connect across the state with as many leaders one-on-one or in groups in order to secure stronger relationships, as well as get a better feel for the variety of schools represented.

I have visited schools in almost every demographic imaginable — urban settings where hundred-year-old buildings house generations of learning, suburban schools supporting college towns, and rural schools where principals may also drive buses and coach teams. One school I visited in the Panhandle of Oklahoma was a district where half the schools served Oklahoma residents, and half of the district was across the border of West Texas.

Since those days, I’ve also criss-crossed the U.S. and spoken in states from coast to coast, at schools, conferences, retreats, and workshops with an emphasis on training or equipping school leaders.

I’ve walked the halls of a demonstration academy in Washington, D.C., observed a program for raising laying hens at a middle school near Oklahoma City, walked the shop floors of welding and robotics programs near Houston, Texas, and spent the day with principals in locations near beaches, mountains, skyscrapers, and cattle lots.

In addition to walking in these various settings, I’ve probably spent even more time in one-on-one conversations with education leaders through virtual or phone calls. Many of these have been coaching or reflection sessions. Some of them have been one-time complimentary times, and many of them have been with leaders who meet with me regularly on a formal basis for coaching and feedback.

Along the way, I have gathered a few lessons in coaching leaders that may be insightful as you think about your own development or the opportunities you may have to coach or mentor others.

Lesson 1

Most people already have the answers for their next steps. They just need someone to listen and provide them clarity on what they already know they want.

That may not seem like an interesting point, but it still surprises me (and the leaders whom I coach) that when we go deep on a challenge they’re currently facing, they often already know what they want. The challenge is talking through the pros and cons, the risks and benefits, thoroughly enough to recognize the importance and value of what they want to do next.

A lot of times, I’ll use what I call the magic wand question with leaders and ask something like, “If you could wave a magic wand, what is the outcome you really want to see happen?”

Simply saying this out loud can often provide the clarity and motivation needed to move forward.

Lesson 2

Leaders hold roles that isolate them, and they deserve the confidence of someone they can trust.

This may be obvious to you if you are a leader, but it may also be a good reminder that the more responsibility you take on in any school or organization, the less others can really understand the weight of concern you carry for those under your care.

Many times, school leaders, in particular, manage people or systems where they are being pressured by people from every part of the organization. Board members, teachers, parents, students, and community members all see priorities that are important to them. You must weigh those concerns in light of information none of those other groups is really studying or considering.

Yes, it’s important to be transparent with the budgets, data, feedback, progress, or lack of progress you are aware of when making hard decisions. But leaders often see the wider lens of all these inputs where their staff or community only see the part most important to their group.

When weighing tough decisions about personnel, student discipline, budgets, or curriculum, the leader often is the final decision maker. This position of isolation means they benefit from a third party whose perspective can be objective without being prescriptive.

One benefit of working with a coach is avoiding the pitfalls of isolation. We think better with others. Sometimes those others can be the people on your teams or in your communities. At other times, you need to be alone with your thoughts long enough to have clarity, and a good coach will help you navigate your thoughts toward reaching that kind of clarity.

Lesson 3

Leaders deserve to be challenged in their thinking and maintain their own growth professionally.

Whenever I meet with leaders, I usually include some discussion around content on leadership or education practice. These discussions allow us to talk about writings, research, and practice from other practitioners who inform us of trends, takeaways, or insights into what is working best in improving outcomes.

I not only use my own books for these discussions, but I also pull in books from leadership and education authors to guide conversations with school leaders and ask them how this looks in their practice (good or bad), and what they may want to do next to adjust, monitor, or change their own practice.

As a result, I’m asking leaders to stretch themselves in their own learning. If we are going to lead learning communities, we must also remain learners.

As we wrap up these three lessons, I want to add an additional self-reflection practice I like to do with leaders. If you have ever attended my trainings or listened to my podcast before, you’ve probably heard me share these.

When I meet with leaders, I like to ask them to do a quick self-inventory based on the following statements, ranking their agreement with each statement from 1–5 (1 = little time, 5 = much time).

• I have been visible and present with every student, every teacher, every day this week.
• I have been reading, meditating, or reflecting on helpful books or lessons (and our time together also counts).
• I have made healthy choices in my sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
• I have been faithful to those I love with my time and attention.

You may want to pause a moment and do some math for yourself. The goal is growth, not perfection.

Coaching leaders has given me the opportunity to spend time with leaders in places I never imagined visiting before. It has also given me treasured moments of providing feedback, asking hard questions, and protecting confidences.

We know in other industries like business and professional athletics that those at the top of their games receive coaching. If that is the case for men and women managing multibillion-dollar companies or competing at the highest levels, why would we not want to provide coaching for those responsible for the learning outcomes of hundreds, if not thousands, of students?

Providing helpful feedback to a fellow leader — or inviting someone to sit across from you in coaching — can help you see answers that were already in front of you, protect you from isolation, and stretch your thinking.

Just like we want students and teachers to have the best environments for learning, leaders deserve the best environments for their own learning as well. Coaching is one way to help leaders enjoy the very outcomes they are seeking to provide others.

Whether you’re seeking clarity for your next step, encouragement not to lead in isolation, or growth in your own learning, coaching can be a powerful way to move the needle toward your goals. If you or someone on your team would like to explore one-on-one coaching opportunities, I’d be glad to connect and talk further.

Will’s email: will@williamdparker.com

The post MONDAY MATTERS with Jen Schwanke and Will Parker – Lessons from Coaching Leaders appeared first on Principal Matters.