Handling shame and instant criticism

Is your anxiety something you need to eliminate or something you need to understand better? In this episode, I talk with psychologist Alice Boyes about the everyday patterns that can make anxiety worse. Alice shares why trying to control anxiety often backfires and how common traps like perfectionism, rumination, avoidance, and impulsive decision-making keep anxious high achievers stuck. We also break down ways to create distance from anxious thoughts, handle feedback without spiraling, and make better decisions. Tune in to learn how to work with your anxiety instead of constantly fighting it.

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In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 Why does trying to control anxiety make it worse?

03:00 How can overthinking trap you in decision paralysis?

06:45 How anxiety pushes people to rush decisions to escape uncertainty.

12:30 Tips to prevent overpreparing from taking over your life.

16:00 How to make feedback less threatening and more useful.

18:30 Why not all feedback is worth accepting.

21:30 Ways to stop shame spirals after mistakes.

27:00 Why becoming a “self-expert” on your anxiety helps you manage it.

30:15 A strategy for creating distance from anxious thoughts.

34:45 How email and social media can amplify anxiety traps.

39:00 Why you don’t need to be exceptional at everything.

Resources + Links

Get a copy of Alice Boyes’ book, The Anxiety Toolkit HERE

Learn more about Dr. Alice Boyes HERE

Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever

Watch the podcast on YouTube 

Find more resources on our website morraam.com

Follow

Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Follow Alice: on LinkedIn @aliceboyes + Instagram @draliceboyes