What Was the Fear of Being an Alcoholic?

The first thing was actually coming to terms with that i had a drinking problem. I like that an alcoholic is, you know, homeless, drinking bush mills out of a brown paper bag and can't hold down a job. Most people would not think of me as somebody who has a drinking problems. So i'm still trying to wrap my head around a homeless person springing for bush mills. That's so trueen, what an alcoholic i am. That's how distorted thinking is. Mad dog 20 20 nower like yats were like yat so at. The whole first year was accepting the fact that i am actually an alcoholic. What? What was the fear in your mind?