Protect your peace, set boundaries, don't let people drain your energy…there’s a lot of advice like that, and it’s easy to take it a little too far. Therapist and bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab joins Forrest to discuss the unintended consequences of the boundaries movement.
They talk about how the helpful concept of boundaries led some toward isolation and rigid standards, and focus on healthy dependency: the reality that we all need other people. Nedra explains the spectrum from codependency to hyper-independence, why your attachment style is more flexible than you think, and how the stories we tell about ourselves become self-fulfilling. Throughout, they focus on developing key aspects of healthy dependency: being able to ask for help, receive support, tolerate distance, feel comfortable in closeness, and repair after conflict.
About our Guest: Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist, relationship expert, and best-selling author with over 2 million followers on social media. Her new book is The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself.
Key Topics:
0:00: Intro: Misconceptions around boundaries
7:14: What we get wrong about codependency
11:13: The consequences of individualism
15:00: How this all relates to attachment styles
20:03: Personal narratives and self-concept
24:50: Opposite action vs. trusting your gut
27:46: Developing self-awareness around your tendencies
34:42: Navigating distance and boundaries in relationships
44:30: Showing up for friends in difficult relationships
52:50: How to be in imperfect relationships
55:51: How to move out of the shallow zone in relationships
1:07:20: Recap
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