Leaders' tendency to say no and why

Why Your Growth Mindset Matters
William D. Parker, March 19, 2026

I’ve been thinking about growth a lot lately. Maybe it’s because it’s spring, and the past two weekends I’ve found myself kneeling in the dirt, pulling weeds, trimming back perennials, and hoping for the burst of life that comes into gardens and trees.

Another reason I’ve been thinking about growth is that I’ve been revisiting the idea of growth mindset, made popular by the work of Dr. Carol Dweck.

Recently, while meeting with a group of leaders, we watched a short summary video of her findings. I asked them to write down words or phrases used to describe “fixed mindsets” versus “growth mindsets.”

We created lists that looked like this:

Fixed Mindsets

• My skills are innate and unchangeable.
• This condition is permanent.
• Negative feedback is a personal attack.
• I should choose the easy or minimal-effort option.
• Why not give up, since I can’t change this?
• My accomplishments only matter if they’re measurable.
• I’ll take fewer risks since I have little chance of succeeding.

Growth Mindsets

• This is a chance for me to improve or change.
• Maybe this problem is an opportunity to pivot or experiment.
• Perhaps we can design a better system for a better outcome.
• The harder or more challenging task will help us grow stronger.
• If I try, perhaps I’ll have a better outcome.
• The lessons learned in the journey—not just the outcome—matter.
• I’ll take creative risks because I have the chance to improve.

I don’t know about you, but when I read those lists side by side, my head hurts. I quickly realize that I can fall into either mindset depending on the day or the season.

For instance, I think all of us yearn for days of peace or stability in our work and lives. We do a lot of executive-function work to make that happen. We set schedules, exercise accountability, develop others toward collective outcomes, and measure growth — all in pursuit of better results.

At the same time, what happens when the systems we create or the stability we achieve cause us to believe we’ve arrived? It only takes one day for that illusion to crumble. And when the next conflict or difficulty comes, we often run back to the idea that the goal is simply to calm the storm and stabilize the situation.

But what if the goal is different?

What if the goal is to see each challenge as an opportunity to learn something new? What if we allow curiosity to drive us toward new ideas, actions, or experimentation?

Let me make this practical. All of us want to work in schools where students are well-behaved, teachers are prepared, and the culture is strong — where student learning and achievement are evident.

But how do we define those outcomes? By quiet, orderly, compliant behavior? Or by welcoming difficult, challenging moments that push our thinking and experimentation toward deeper understanding?

You could walk into classrooms that are quiet or boisterous and still not know if real growth is happening — until you look closely at whether the teaching and learning are rooted in a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.

I think every student and teacher struggles with their mindset, just like you and I do. So how do we recognize which mindset we’re seeing?

When I asked Carol Dweck similar questions in an interview exchange from my blog in 2013, she shared the following:

• Embrace failure as part of success: Failing early and often accelerates learning and leads to better outcomes over time.
  
• Adopt and model a growth mindset: Believe abilities can be developed through effort, strategies, and support from others.
  
• Step outside your comfort zone: Growth requires taking risks, facing challenges, and stretching beyond what feels safe.
  
• Let go of the need to always appear “smart”: Fear of failure limits progress; prioritizing learning over image unlocks potential.
  
• Actively seek feedback: Honest criticism is one of the most powerful tools for continuous improvement.
  
• View success as an ongoing journey: Leadership is not about “arriving,” but about continually growing and helping others thrive.
  

These commitments can be heard in the way we talk and reframe challenges. For example, if a child says, “I’m not good at math,” a teacher might respond, “I see you haven’t figured out how to solve that problem yet. Let’s try it again like this.”

Or instead of saying, “That person is impossible to change,” we might ask, “What could we try next that we haven’t tried before?”

This isn’t positive toxicity, as some might argue. It’s an invitation to rethink the way we think.

Let’s Wrap This Up

So, where do you want to see growth as you step into this new season? Maybe you’re simply hoping for a little peace — a few days of spring break to rest and recharge. If so, I hope you get that. But when your next challenge comes, how will you face it? Will it tempt you to believe that nothing you do really matters — that the situation is unchangeable? Or will you see it as an opportunity to grow?

For the interview exchange with Carol Dweck: https://williamdparker.com/2013/interview-with-carol-dweck/

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