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Notes From The Underground, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Part I.

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The Importance of Characterless Creatures

I was inwardly conscious with shame that I was not only not a spiteful, but not even an embittered man. The real sting of it lay in the fact that he was simply scaring sparrows at random and amusing myself by it. It was not only that I could not become spiteful, I did not know how to become anything,. neither spiteful nor kind, neither a rascal nor an honest man, neither a hero nor an insect. They tormented me till I was ashamed. They drove me to convulsions, and sickened me at last. How they sickened me. To live longer than forty years is bad manners, is vulgar, immoral

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