Attachments: Why Change Feels Hard

Resilience is often framed as pushing through, staying positive, and powering past challenges.

But that version of resilience can backfire, especially for managers trying to support their teams. When leaders jump too quickly into problem-solving or positivity, they can unintentionally make people feel unheard, dismissed, or disconnected.

Fortunately, this week’s guest shares a more effective approach to building resilience, one that starts with acknowledging what people are actually experiencing and then guides them toward solutions.

Jay Abbasi is a leadership coach and former executive who helps individuals and organizations develop resilience, improve performance, and lead through challenges with greater awareness and intention.

In this conversation, we explore how to support resilience in others without falling into toxic positivity, practical coaching techniques that help people find their own solutions, and how to lead teams through difficult moments by creating space, trust, and honest dialogue.

Conversation Topics

• (00:00) Introduction
• (02:18) Rethinking resilience beyond “just pushing through.”
• (05:46) Why positivity can sometimes make things worse
• (09:12) The importance of acknowledging what people are experiencing
• (12:34) Coaching instead of fixing: helping others find their own solutions
• (16:08) Powerful coaching questions that shift perspective
• (19:27) Asking permission before giving advice
• (22:41) Creating psychological safety through active listening
• (26:15) Supporting individuals without becoming their therapist
• (29:38) Leading teams through uncertainty and difficult news
• (32:56) [Extended Episode Only] Supporting team resilience in real time
• (33:44) [Extended Episode Only] Why “I hear you” matters more than solutions
• (36:44) [Extended Episode Only] Coaching techniques to unlock better thinking
• (40:14) [Extended Episode Only] How to lead team conversations during tough moments

📚 Additional Resources:

✨ Get the extended episode by joining The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community for just $15 per month

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YIXQtsAmWSuIXfl4ZDdfJ0INFUN2W5w8OA6yZrIC004/edit?usp=sharing 

✨Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨Visit my website for more: https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨Upskill your team: https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 

Keep up with Jay Abbasi

- Connect with Jay on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/

- Follow him on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/

- Follow him on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi

- Subscribe to his YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast

Guest Bonus: Free PDF: 7 Strategies To Build Unshakable Resilience 

This PDF offers guidance on how to support your own resilience.

To get this bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.

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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive, and great work gets done.

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