Men need therapy. They also need feminism.
Dire Straights
Relationship Costs: Emotional Labor Burdens
Amanda and Tracy describe how men's refusal to seek help shifts emotional labor onto women and harms relationships.
Perhaps you’ve heard, men will do literally anything to avoid going to therapy. They will eat raw liver, obsess about the Roman Empire, run American democracy into the ground, start their own paramilitary organization, design AI housebots, invent social media, start podcasts with their bros, open carry— anything other than Zoom for an hour with a mental health professional.
Meanwhile, men are—according to men—lonely, depressed, disempowered, and confused about what to do with themselves. Masculinity influencers and therapy-averse brocasters often insist that the key to men’s happiness is not therapy, but rather, wives, more economic power, and better definitions about what it takes to be a man.
We, however, are skeptical. So, we’re digging into why so many men are resistant to therapy, and why so many women are insistent that men go anyway. What does the “men and therapy” conversation tell us about heterosexual relationships? Is therapy really what men need? Or do they, actually, just need to listen to this podcast?
This is a free episode—but we believe it’s worth just as much as an hourly session with your therapist. If you love independent media that refuses to play to “both sides,” and will never, ever, host a town hall on whether feminism has failed women, upgrade to a paid subscription.
You’ll get an additional, extra juicy episode every month, full access to past paywalled episodes on topics like couples therapy and conservative “sex positivity”, along with access to live conversations with us and cool guests, and all community features on our Substack page.
If monetary support really isn’t in the cards for you, please share this podcast on your social pages, in your group chats, and IRL—and leave us a 5-star review on your favorite podcasting platform. These little gestures really help us know you like what we do, and they spread the word.
Show highlights…
2:10 This episode is free but please upgrade your subscription if you want independent media to survive these fascist goons—and if $80 for a WHOLE YEAR of urgent feminist analysis and community is really not in the cards for you, please like and rate us on your podcasting platform.
2:51 The memes confirm it, men will do anything other than go to therapy.
7:18 Tracy defends LARPing, because it could be worse.
8:20 Men who start podcasts are the worst offenders here. To be clear, we have done more than enough therapy to host this podcast.
9:40 The guys who started the internet and all wars also need therapy.
10:10 Tracy finds hope at her local meditation class.
11:15 We’ve destigmatized therapy, but therapy bro summer has not yet become a thing.
12:00 We know why men don’t go to therapy, but don’t they, also?
15:15 It seems some men don’t realize that talking about feelings is fun?
16:26 Manchiiiiild.
17:26 Amanda tries to convince Tracy that The Bear is good and gets nowhere.
18:25 We agree that Carmy needs therapy—and that therapy was good for Bruce Springsteen.
19:47 Tracy spent her childhood psychoanalyzing Leonardo DiCaprio, like girls do.
22:20 Girl culture is not just emotional, but highly textual!!
23:50 Men will literally declare a male loneliness epidemic to avoid going to therapy.
28:24 Why do women care so much if men go to therapy? Maybe because this political moment is brought to you by men who won’t go to therapy?
34:22 Amanda goes on a little rant about the sexual division of labor.
36:54 The premise that anti-empathy folks rely on to make their dumb argument against caring about other people.
38:10 The point is always power.
40:20 Why do men see women who want their partners to go to therapy as nags hmmmmmm.
43:58 The individualism of therapy.
45:30 Amanda goes on a little Scott Galloway rant—and makes a radical argument about what men need even more than therapy.
51:00 Emotional curiosity for the win!
55:20 Tracy thinks most white guys actually need a therapy domme.
59:07 Women telling their partners they long for men to make a political commitment is scarier than…
1:04:00 …women mothering men.
1:05:10 Amanda makes Tracy play the “does this guy need therapy or a feminist book?” game.
1:12:50 Tracy makes an offer: if you upgrade to paid we might do an episode on JD Vance.
Please share your favorite episodes of Dire Straights in your group chats and on whatever social media platform you can still stand. This one is free for all and… relatable.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe
The AI-powered Podcast Player
