Fantasies, Kinks and Normalization

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Most of us have an opinion on porn. Very few of us have actually looked at the evidence.We talk about gut health, hormones, sleep, and stress. But there's one part of our sexual lives that almost nobody is talking about honestly, and it might be quietly shaping our relationships more than we realise.

This week on Live Well Be Well, I'm joined by Silva Neves, an accredited psychosexual and relationship therapist and author. Silva holds deeply taboo topics with total clinical clarity and zero judgment, helping us have the conversation about porn that most people are too afraid to start.

Here's what we explore together:

- How porn is classified as "neither healthy nor unhealthy" by research, and why that nuance changes everything.

- Why there is no proven causation between porn and relationship breakdown, misogyny, or erectile dysfunction.

- What compulsive porn use actually looks like, and when it signals something deeper going on emotionally.

- How shared values around porn can make or break a relationship, and why most couples never have this conversation.

- Why dopamine isn't the villain we think, and how habits around technology and porn really form.

- What research says about fantasies, kinks and fetishes, and why most are far more normal than we realise.

- How shame silently shuts down sexual communication in long-term relationships, and what to do instead.

Love,

Sarah Ann 💛

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If You Enjoyed This Episode, You Might Also Like:Why You Still Can’t Orgasm (The Step-By-Step Guide) | Dr. Laurie Mintz, Sex Therapisthttps://youtu.be/gr6RWK2LFJEBetter Sex EVERY TIME? Dr Rena Malik Tells You Howhttps://youtu.be/C8HJAH5plVw

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Highlights

00:00:00 Intro

00:00:20 Is Porn Healthy or Unhealthy? Silva's Honest Answer

00:05:13 Porn Is Not a Monolith: Understanding the Many Types

00:10:18 How Many People Actually Watch Porn?

00:14:23 Is Porn Addiction Real? The Clinical Truth

00:19:01 Porn, Cheating and the Agreements We Never Have

00:22:36 Why Couples With Shared Porn Values Tend to Thrive

00:28:21 Dopamine, Habits and Digital Attachment

00:37:00 What Age Should Young People Be Exposed to Porn?

00:39:13 The Manosphere: Fear, Misogyny and Online Extremism

00:53:06 Fantasies, Kinks and Fetishes: More Normal Than You Think

00:58:24 How Shame Kills Sex in Long-Term Relationships

01:01:00 Talking About Your Erotic Mind With a Partner

01:07:31 Asexuality as a Valid and Underrepresented Orientation

01:11:10 What Good Relationship Vows Really Look Like