Defining sexual attraction versus romance

Whether you're questioning who you're attracted to or wondering why someone incredible on paper leaves you feeling nothing below the waist, you're not alone. In this episode, I unpack the messy, confusing space between wanting someone and wanting to build a life with them—and why those two things don't always line up.

From a woman who's always identified as straight but can't stop fantasizing about women, to a listener who's been getting nothing but one-arm hugs after six dates, I get into the questions most people are too afraid to ask out loud. I also share what the science actually says about attraction—including why your post-gym crush might not be as real as it feels, and what your birth control could be doing to your "type."

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • Why putting a label on your sexuality might be the last thing you need to do right now—and what to try instead

 • The conversation that can save you months (or years) of wondering where you stand with someone who won't make a move

 • What to do when you and your partner are both waiting for the other person to take control in bed

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Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction 

1:56 - The science of sexual attraction 

5:01 - You can want someone without wanting to date them 

6:12 - Surprising facts about who you're attracted to (and why) 

9:19 - "Am I bisexual or do I just think women are hot?" 

10:50 - The one-arm hug situation 

15:25 - When your partner's meds killed your sex life 

20:40 - 19 years married and ready to give up 

25:31 - How to rekindle the spark after years together

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