Going dark: listen to yourself more

You've heard it before: listen twice as much as you speak.

Two ears, one mouth. Makes sense, right?

But I'm taking that advice to a whole different level. Because most people are so busy listening to everyone else — to Google, to AI, to social media, to the noise — that they've stopped listening to themselves.

They can't move forward without social approval. They don't trust their own wisdom. They've lost permission to listen to what their heart is saying.

I introduce the concept of "going dark" — choosing to listen to others less and listen to yourself more. Not ignoring the world, but giving yourself space to think, to ponder, to ask "what would I do?" If you're feeling stuck or down, it's probably because you haven't stopped to listen to yourself. This episode changes that.

Featured Story

I've got the gift of gab. Always have.

As a kid, I was energetic, enthusiastic, excitable. My mouth got me into lots of problems. Then I learned to use it to get myself out of those problems too.

But somewhere along the way, smart people taught me to listen twice as much as I speak.

When I got into coaching, I became a really good listener. Kept my mouth shut. Paid attention.

Then I learned something else. I needed to listen to myself too. To my own wisdom. To what my heart was telling me.

I started using what I call "Scott logic." Asking "what would Scott do?" Not in an arrogant way, but as an accumulation of all the wisdom I've gathered over the years.

That's when everything changed.

Important Points

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason, but most people listen to everyone else so much they've stopped listening to themselves.

Going dark means giving yourself space to listen to your own wisdom twice as much as you listen to others around you.

When you stop listening to what your heart is telling you, that's usually when you start feeling stuck or down in life.

Memorable Quotes

"Going dark means life is brighter. It means good stuff is about to happen."

"We've lost permission to listen to ourselves and to do for ourselves. It's like we can't move forward without social approval of those around us."

"If I didn't absolutely know where I stood, I didn't know what my values were and what was really important to me, I had no business talking to anybody else."

Scott's Three-Step Approach

Shut your mouth and pay attention to the world. Listen to others, be caring, interact — but don't just talk to fill the space.

Listen to yourself twice as much as anyone else. Take time to think, ponder, and ask yourself what you really believe about the situation.

Know where you stand before speaking. Get clear on your values and what's important to you, then operate from that place.

Chapter Notes

00:00 - Why your mouth might be your biggest problem

04:20 - The two ears, one mouth principle revealed

07:45 - What "going dark" really means for your life

11:15 - When social approval replaces self-trust

14:30 - Scott logic and knowing what you would do

17:20 - Why feeling down means you stopped listening

19:40 - Finding your values before talking to anyone

Connect With Me

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