Social comparison is a major wellbeing tax

What if the thing you spend the most time on at work won't matter at all when you're gone? 

It's a confronting question, but it's the kind Tom Rath lives with deliberately. He walks past a 10,000-headstone cemetery near his home in Washington DC and has never once seen a grave mention social media followers, email response times, or job titles. Yet these are the things most of us spend our days chasing. 

In this episode, I sit down with Tom Rath, one of the most widely read authors in the world of work and wellbeing and the man behind StrengthsFinder 2.0, How Full Is Your Bucket?, and his just-released book What's the Point? Tom challenges the "follow your passion" narrative head-on and makes the case that purpose isn't a grand discovery waiting for you someday. It's what you do for other people, hour by hour, throughout the day. 

We get into the single question Tom uses every morning to reprioritise his time, how to escape the comparison trap that platforms like LinkedIn are designed to pull you into, and why he believes the so-called initiators are the ones who will thrive in the age of AI. 

Tom and I discuss: 

• Why "follow your passion" is misguided advice, and what Tom recommends doing instead when thinking about work and career 

• The statistics on how much of our career path we unconsciously inherit from our parents, and what to do about it 

• How strengths only really come to life when they're turned outward in service of another person 

• Tom's "what's the point?" question and how to use it daily to reprioritise your time and cut through distraction 

• Why resume virtues and eulogy virtues are so different, and how walking through cemeteries has sharpened Tom's thinking on what matters 

• Social comparison as the single biggest tax on your sense of progress at work, and how to reduce its grip 

• What a "shoulder hunter" is and how to find people whose thinking you can build on 

• Why initiators will have a significant advantage over responders as AI continues to reshape the workforce 

Key quotes: 

"Passion is inherently more self-serving, where purpose is by definition anchored in what it does for other people." 

"Stop sleepwalking through your days and lives. The people who are continuing to do that day after day are in for a very rude awakening." 

Connect with Tom Rath on Instagram, X (Twitter), and LinkedIn, visit his website at https://tomrath.org/, and check out his latest book What's the Point?. 

If you enjoyed this episode, I'd recommend going back and listening to my chat with educator and parenting expert Lael Stone, who talks about the power of understanding our imprints — the stories we tell ourselves that we learned in childhood — and how they shape how we show up in the world, and importantly, what we can do to rewrite them. Check out part 1 and part 2. 

My latest book The Energy Game is out on July 7, 2026. You can order a copy here: https://amzn.to/48ID29M 

Connect with me on the socials: Linkedin (https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanthaimber) 

Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/amanthai) 

If you are looking for more tips to improve the way you work and live, I write a weekly newsletter where I share practical and simple to apply tips to improve your life. You can sign up for that at https://amantha.substack.com/ 

Visit https://www.amantha.com/podcast for full show notes from all episodes. 

Get in touch at amantha@inventium.com.au 

Credits: 

Host: Amantha Imber 

Sound Engineer: The Podcast Butler 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.