Lucky vs. Unlucky Frustration Responses

Dr. Ross Greene’s work has profoundly shaped how so many of us think about kids’ behavior and what they actually need from the adults in their lives, so I’m thrilled to welcome him back to the show to talk about his brand new book, The Kids Who Aren’t Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools. Together, we explore the urgent need to reimagine how we support children in schools, especially as mental health concerns continue to rise. We dig into the importance of recognizing developmental variability, why meeting kids where they are is non-negotiable, and how current behavior-focused systems miss the real problems underneath. Ross also highlights the role parents and caregivers can play in advocating for meaningful change.

About Dr. Ross Greene 

Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the originator of the innovative, evidence-based approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS), as described in his influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings. He also developed and executive produced the award-winning documentary film The Kids We Lose, released in 2018. Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance. He is also currently adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology in Sydney, Australia. Dr. Greene has worked with several thousand kids with concerning behaviors and their caregivers, and he and his colleagues have overseen implementation and evaluation of the CPS model in countless schools, inpatient psychiatric units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, with dramatic effect: significant reductions in recidivism, discipline referrals, detentions, suspensions, and use of restraint and seclusion. Dr.Greene lectures throughout the world and lives in Freeport, Maine.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

• How kids today are facing unprecedented challenges that require new ways of thinking and responding

• Why developmental variability matters and why every child needs support tailored to their unique profile

• How schools can create more supportive ecosystems by using proactive rather than reactive approaches

• Why behavior is often a late signal of unmet expectations, not the problem itself

• How managing expectations and understanding root causes can reduce concerning behaviors

• Why parents’ advocacy and the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model can transform how children are supported in education

Resources mentioned

• The Kids Who Aren’t Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools by Dr. Ross Greene

• Never Too Early: CPS with Young Kids (documentary)

• The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross Greene

• Lives in the Balance (Dr. Greene’s website)

• The B Team (Facebook group)

• Lost at School: Why Our Kids With Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them by Dr. Ross Greene

• Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child by Dr. Ross Greene

• Lost and Found: Helping Behaviorally Challenge Students (and While You’re At It, All the Others by Dr. Ross Greene

• The Kids We Lose (documentary)

• How to Parent Angry and Explosive Children, with Dr. Ross Greene (Tilt Parenting podcast)

• Ken Wilbur

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