145 | Heal Your Hurting Mind | NBA Psychologist Dr. Wayne Chappelle on Masculinity, Marriage, Masturbation, Mental Health, and Thriving Through Trauma
Whole Hearted Leadership with Lantz Howard
Trauma as opportunity to grow
Wayne reframes trauma as an unavoidable growth catalyst and uses the diamond analogy and Romans 8:28.
In this raw and transformative episode of Wholehearted Leadership, host Lantz Howard sits down with Dr. Wayne Chappelle (aka Dr. C), a clinical and sports psychologist with over two decades of experience serving military special operations, the OKC Thunder, and high-profile leaders like Craig Groeschel. As co-author of the new book Heal Your Hurting Mind , Dr. Chappelle shares profound insights on achieving extraordinary results while maintaining wholeness in life, leadership, and relationships.
From identifying the "7 wounds" that derail men (bottle, money, zipper, temperament, wolves, pride/ego, jealousy/envy, control) to candid discussions on sexual integrity in marriage, reframing anxiety and trauma as growth opportunities, and avoiding burnout through intentional rhythms, this conversation is a blueprint for men seeking to lead with heart and resilience. Whether you're a leader, husband, or high-performer, Dr. Chappelle's blend of behavioral science and biblical wisdom will challenge and equip you.
Key Timestamps:
- 00:00 - Introduction and welcome to Dr. Wayne Chappelle
- 02:03 - Dr. Chappelle's professional journey: From clinical psychology to special ops and sports
- 03:37 - Personal life: 31 years of marriage, recent dates, and leadership lessons
- 07:20 - The 7-8 wounds that wreck high-achieving men (and how to spot them)
- 10:27 - The power of "wingmen" – Story of General Petraeus and protecting yourself from yourself
- 13:52 - Wounds vs. human vulnerabilities: Why strengths can become weaknesses
- 15:35 - Dr. Chappelle's personal vulnerabilities and the thorn in Paul's side
- 16:35 - Deep dive: Sexual integrity, zipper wounds, and why Christian men struggle most here
- 20:42 - Reframing porn, arousal, and masturbation in marriage – Biblical insights from Song of Solomon
- 23:10 - Emotional needs behind sexual desires: Connection, admiration, and heroism
- 26:30 - Practical advice: Self-control, frequency, and avoiding selfishness in solo sex
- 30:58 - Bringing secrets into the light: Role of wingmen, therapists, and open talks
- 34:54 - Genesis of Heal Your Hurting Mind with Craig Groeschel – From exhaustion to endurance
- 37:10 - Engineering life for joy: Mindset, habits, adventure (flying, jiu-jitsu), and authentic masculinity
- 40:15 - Navigating burnout: Diet, exercise, sleep, and intentional rest
- 41:51 - Reframing anxiety: Embrace 5-7 levels for optimal performance – Anti-pop psychology
- 44:22 - Trauma as opportunity: Diamonds under pressure and Romans 8:28
- 48:35 - Closing encouragement: Continuous growth, seeking help, and becoming your best self
Resources Mentioned:
- Book: Heal Your Hurting Mind by Craig Groeschel and Dr. Wayne Chappelle
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If this episode resonates, share it with a friend – especially the segment on sexual integrity (20:42-30:58). Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube for more conversations on wholehearted leadership. Follow Lantz on LinkedIn or visit lantzhoward.com for coaching and resources.
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