Crage Kellyvidio - The Gold Standard Is When You're Dealing With Them

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We're joined this week by fearmongers:

James Colley
Bridie Connell
Lewis Hobba
and Dan Ilic

And we cover 

• Forklifts
• Boris Johnson
• UAP's insane political advertising spend
• Play a 2012 clip from the A Rational Fear vault.

PLUGS:
Listen to Vanity Project Podcast: Instagram / Omny

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Thank you FEARMONGERS!

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Bertha Announcement  0:00  
This podcast is supported in part by the birther foundation.

Dan Ilic  0:04  
Hello Lewis. How are you?

Lewis Hobba  0:06  
Daniel on well how the hell are you?

Dan Ilic  0:09  
I'm really I'm really good. I'm feeling good feeling. I'm feeling tired but I'm good otherwise I'm tired because bit a personal News. Today I mailed the last ever joke keeper billboards sticker pack out a 480 sticker packs have been mailed out to people who paid 100 bucks to get them. But as a result, Louis I've actually got quite a few stickers left over I thought I under ordered so I did an extra order and then I ended up with about about 100 More stickers per sticker that I actually ordered. So if you want a pack of these $150 valued sticker packs hang around to the end of the podcast and I'll tell you how to get them at a massive discount. Wow Lewis Do you have good olive? I haven't even sent you these?

Lewis Hobba  0:58  
No, I've got one of I got I've got these irrational fear QR code that's not in functioning anymore, obviously. But um, all QR codes. Now if you

Dan Ilic  1:10  
if you if you scan that actually exports your entire browser data to Twitter. Everyone could say everything you've ever downloaded. It's great. Oh, great. The billboard stuff is continuing. I've spent the last bit of money on some billboards around Cooke which is Scott Morrison seat. So I've got a few bit of artwork going I'm going to show you some of the artwork now this is a classic. Let's have a look here is Hawaiian hideaway for when things get too hot at home bushfire sale now one that's going up, and then we've got this one, visit the Old Grove stumps of Tasmania just a beautiful bit of artwork in a classic 1960s US national parks kind of studied that. That's beautiful. Her name is Tanya she's from Tasmania, Tasmania artist, she actually did a cracking job on this like so good. Like it's beautiful. Someone gave a huge donation to joke keeper and they wanted one particularly around the jobs of the future. So I've designed this one to go up which is in 2035, Cassie will be qualified to put former politicians in jail for historical climate crimes. And it's got this picture of this cute little girl in a graduation outfit. And it says climate prosecutor is one of the 1 million new Australian jobs for the fossil fuel free future.

Lewis Hobba  2:27  
Yeah, well she looks about six which is probably is Scott Morrison's kind of child slavery plans stay on track. You could just hop straight into the court right now.

Dan Ilic  2:38  
And we're gonna be talking a little bit about that a little later on right now. I'm recording my end of irrational feet on Gadigal land in the urination sovereignty is never seated, we need a treaty. Let's stop the show.

Unknown Speaker  2:48  
A rational fear contains naughty words like bricks, Canberra, fed gum and section 40 of our rational view recommended listening by immature audience.

Dan Ilic  3:01  
Tonight Victoria Health Corps a code brown on Scott Morrison's press conferences, and the Prime Minister asked the states to let kids drive forklifts in order to give George Christiansen something to do and just wait and turns out to be an even bigger shift and Justice League. It's the 21st of January 2022. And there's a high pressure system of breakfast television asking should we change the date of Australia Day that could last all week? This is a rational. Welcome to rational fear. I'm your host former chairman of Credit Suisse, Dan Ilic. And this is a podcast that vaccinates your brain once a week to make you impervious to scary news stories for at least seven days. Let's meet our fear mongers for tonight. First, did you know that Australian TV comedy shows have a diversity problem? 90% of the head writers are straight white men and 90% of those are James Colley from 81% of comedy shows that are on TV. It's James Colley.

James Colley  4:08  
Oh, hello, Dan. I'll always be from a rational fear. This is why I have made a push to be the official prodigal son of a Russian

Dan Ilic  4:16  
mafia, as you've got it in the name tonight. Thank you, James. Appreciate that. And when she's not being an aria Award winning musical comedian, she's busy being an aria award winning data point on Facebook. It's the ARIA award winning Brian econyl.

Bridie Connell  4:32  
Thank you for using my full title.

Dan Ilic  4:36  
Now you're there's a little bit of a delay, but I assume that's because you're beaming to us from New Zealand the place where there is no COVID where you can go to the shops and you know see your friends and put on comedy shows

Bridie Connell  4:47  
and fortunately no COVID but also no friends. Real real tough spot that I've been just kidding. I'm actually very popular. So I've done but

Lewis Hobba  4:58  
how long have you been there? I feel like you Your accents gotten stronger since I saw you last.

Bridie Connell  5:02  
As soon as I have like one conversation with my dad, it comes back fairly quickly today. And I have

Dan Ilic  5:08  
to say, I've been listening to your podcast with James Colley and there was the listening back to her like, hang on a second, right econyl All of a sudden sounds like she's throwing music.

Bridie Connell  5:21  
Not sure identity is finally been revealed.

James Colley  5:24  
We're pushing for a lot of international funding.

Lewis Hobba  5:29  
And code switching. It's very impressive, very much.

Dan Ilic  5:33  
And it's a man so tall that HR is required to hire a forklift to have a face to face conversation with him. It's Louis harbor.

Lewis Hobba  5:40  
Yes, then I can finally get those six year olds on the end of a fork and raise them up to my level.

Dan Ilic  5:46  
Here's a message from this week's sponsor.

Unknown Speaker  5:50  
Hey, Veronica milsim here to remind you that you've only got two days left to submit your favorite years for the hottest 100 Now with over 2000 years to choose from, we want to know which year you think will come out on top as the hottest year ever.

Unknown Speaker  6:06  
I thought 1989 was pretty high. No, no,

Unknown Speaker  6:09  
it's not when you will asked hot the temperature of Earth. Oh, god, it's got to be 2007. That's the year I was born and my mom was in labor for like four hours. And that was hot. Yeah. Okay. I can understand from a friction perspective. But once again, we're talking about the earth's temperature.

Unknown Speaker  6:26  
And you know, the hottest year was actually 1890 and the Earth's been getting colder every year.

Unknown Speaker  6:32  
I'm sorry. Is this Senator Malcolm Roberts.

Dan Ilic  6:35  
No, it's an attempt round come. They finally

Unknown Speaker  6:41  
get ready for the most predictable countdown. Most of the world is ignoring the hottest 100 years ever. Spoiler alert. It was last year. It's always the last year.

Dan Ilic  6:57  
Always good to have friends of the show on Veronica Milson that are you excited, Louis? So how does 100 week for you? I mean, it's like Christmas for Triple J presenters.

Lewis Hobba  7:06  
It is it's really easy. Obviously. It's always nice for Christmas not to be riddled with disease. Usually the most fun part of the hardest 100 people having parties and really the only parties people having our people who have triple Vax trying to deliberately get COVID that they have the extra immunity. So it is a bit of a somber affair. But you know, I'm sure they'll still be plenty of people who listen to those 100 who will be any absolutely shit faced with 1000 people and it will make me very nervous.

Dan Ilic  7:36  
Yeah, get shit faced on Twitch. That's the That's the name of the game. This week's first year on Thursday, Scott Morrison which should be pointed out despite everything he's still Prime Minister of Australia floated the idea that 16 year old children should be able to operate forklifts as a way to solve some of the supply chain problems that Australia is facing due to adults being sick from COVID-19 But no sooner had Scott Morrison raised the idea by the afternoon it was lowered again by some adults in the national cabinet fear mongers Is this a good idea letting 16 year olds drive something that according to the union's causes one in six workplace deaths Bridey well

Bridie Connell  8:15  
look it was not the news I was expecting today like I knew that the Liberal Party is big on like old fashioned conservative values I just didn't know that like child labor was one of them. I kind of feel excited for them because if this is a value like with the current climate the way it is there's not a lot of chimneys and therefore not a lot of chimney sweep. So I'm like this is cute. Maybe this will lead to our first like little Mary Poppins moment. We can have an adorable chorus line of like, kids on forklifts. I think the choreographic opportunities with this news a huge so I'm for it the premiere

Dan Ilic  8:52  
that would be most up for surely be dominant paradigm and he's got seven forklift drivers ready to go.

Bridie Connell  8:58  
A whole fleet

James Colley  9:01  
is exactly how Tiny Tim got his crutch to so we've wet

Lewis Hobba  9:08  
Yeah, this does feel like a bunch of schools are gonna be really excitedly doing modern adaptations of Oliver.

James Colley  9:18  
I actually really like this plate. I know this is controversial, but I really like this for two reasons. One of which is I have an eight week old and babies are expensive. So get a job honestly $100 A big W two days. You know how hard it is to spend you know how many, like 100 shirts made by other children I would have to buy to make up $100 A big W on my own.

Dan Ilic  9:41  
I was gonna say if you're buying $100 worth of merch you need a forklift to get that $100 worth of stuff to the car.

James Colley  9:48  
We are disgusting, get a job Stop, stop living off my dime. And also more importantly, because I have an eight year old I've been stuck inside for about eight weeks and I need more tick tock content. So you Give every 16 year old a forklift. Let's get this thing

Lewis Hobba  10:03  
humming. Like I have a three year old nephew and he loves trucks. Like he would be so keen for this. If I told him that he could drive a forklift, he would do it for free. He can't technically hold a fork yet, but I reckon he's about ready.

Bridie Connell  10:18  
This is what I'm worried about, Louis, because three year olds love trucks, but it makes this whole policy makes me think that they came up with it. The government while playing with Tonka Trucks, like Fine, let's do this, which would explain why they like coal mining so much, but I'm like, Sure, no, no, let's not be playing with Tonka Trucks, let's be consulting with experts and really official documents, planes.

Lewis Hobba  10:43  
The next plan is gonna be like, we're gonna build a bunch of comedic cowpox, and we've found this some really good infrastructure material, it's called Lego. And we're gonna really go

James Colley  10:54  
It's remarkable to me that what we've learned over the last couple of years is that the global supply chain can be stopped by a boat that gets very stuck when it's absolutely should not be stuck, or just not enough teenagers to operate heavy machinery. How fragile is this thing?

Bridie Connell  11:10  
You know, one of the most concerning parts of this news story to me apart from the child labor laws and the death and although you know, all the year, is that I just had a flashback to when I was 16 and I told the boy at school that I could drive a forklift because I thought it would impress him, which doesn't lie.

Lewis Hobba  11:32  
How's he gonna prove it? He's like, Oh my God, that's crazy. I've got a forklift at home we get over here Brian.

James Colley  11:39  
Yeah, she gave me a PJ a pallet jack

Dan Ilic  11:44  
I did love the best pan on Twitter I saw with this was a university professor saying the whole idea was unpalatable. I was like yes, well done. I'll pay that. I enjoyed that. How do

James Colley  11:55  
we make that person do physical labor?

Lewis Hobba  11:59  
I do think it would stimulate the economy in a lot of ways like I think not only is it just good to get kids into highly, highly dangerous trades as soon as possible. But I think there are a lot of offshoots that we haven't considered yet like you got to think that dare iced coffee you will be bringing stuff out and hit size kid size pack a weenie blues, they're gonna start flying off the shelves like this is gonna stimulate the economy from the ground up crowd would have to change

Dan Ilic  12:26  
their their their jingle there is nothing like crown from picking them up and putting them down after snack. You know to have a

James Colley  12:36  
little man Yeah, I actually worked at like 15 and 16 I worked in the back docks of Toys R Us. And can I say it was already it was already horribly horribly mismanaged. It was our system at the time was you climb up on the racks and someone will throw the screw is up to you and you try and catch them. I will take the last thing we need

Lewis Hobba  13:02  
some of those handled grabbers

Dan Ilic  13:06  
I love the reaction on Twitter to some of this. A lot of a lot of folks are saying this is a bit of a distraction from everything that's going on in terms of Dr. V on Sharma said this he said some days you drop the dead cat other days you are the dead cat. That's a really beautiful summation of that.

James Colley  13:23  
I don't know if like I'm worried that I don't know if you can still be calling this distraction because like it's like if Sideshow Bob gets up to the 14th rake and you're saying well that's just distracting from the first 30 rakes like at some point you're just tremendously shit at what it is you're supposed to be doing. Lucky GOP and the fact that time is linear makes every you have it seems like a distraction from the past.

Lewis Hobba  13:45  
There is also an element to this because it's like oh, we've run out of rat tests whatever out of rats. Oh, we run a rat because we don't have enough forklift drivers. Okay, the forklift drivers will be 16 Oh no wait, that's gonna call it's to me this feels like bringing in the cane toads. Like I've come up with a solution and that solution ends up being far worse than the original problem.

James Colley  14:05  
We are running out of 16 year old shop right the forklifts, but we are also canceling sex ed to create more teen pregnancy so we can get more 16 year olds as soon as possible.

Dan Ilic  14:15  
We love and I love this from my country's on Twitter when he wrote down at this point we're going to learn that the government has hasn't ordered enough forklifts.

Lewis Hobba  14:27  
And all you need

James Colley  14:31  
how great it would be though to rock up to year 10. For more in a forklift, two boys on each fork. Be a king of the school?

Bridie Connell  14:40  
Of course I can imagine it that's why I told that stupid lie in 2007.

Unknown Speaker  14:45  
Arsenal fair, we have been working to reduce the regulatory requirements. There are changes that we need to make around the age of forklift drivers to get quite specific

Unknown Speaker  14:54  
your fear is irrational

Dan Ilic  14:56  
this week. Second fear Boris Johnson is on the ropes again ever since Boris Johnson took over the office of Prime Minister from Theresa May. We've read for about three years that his time as prime minister will be over. But because of this whole debacle around the Christmas party in Downing Street, it could possibly be over I mean, Labour leader key Astana had very strong words about Boris Johnson. He said he broke the law, and he lied. But if that happened in Australia, you'd be gifted a portfolio with more responsibility, James, his whole career over what do you think? Well,

James Colley  15:29  
I don't think he's career's over because this is a man who has made a career out of failing upwards so they'll take him out of this and he'll end up King somehow. This is does seem like a worry because they had leaked. The story of this was a quote, Operation Save big dog, which is the best day I've ever heard for any political communication Operation Save big dog was the play to find a series of people that he could throw under the bus before him to slow the bus down just enough that he would survive.

Lewis Hobba  16:03  
It sounds like a GoFundMe for a pet.

Bridie Connell  16:06  
No, it sounds like that person in high school who really desperately wants a nickname so I was like, Yeah, everyone's calling me big dog now. Promise they are

James Colley  16:16  
Operation Safe big dog was when SEAL Team Six and birded

Dan Ilic  16:22  
operation Big Dog sounds like the sequel to Operation Dumbo drop.

Lewis Hobba  16:30  
A timely reference

Dan Ilic  16:33  
1995 it was a it was a well,

James Colley  16:35  
I one of my favorite parts of the outrage for this because it's very funny. So this all started with they had a party as the farewell for the now deputy editor of the sun before the sun broke the story without revealing that it was the deputy editor which took a little while to come out because you think he could have mentioned that the old day. I know a weird amount about this party because frankly, it was my party. I loved in the traditional way that any British outrage goes and eventually comes back to Will they suffered the queen in this that angle is it was just days before Prince Philip's funeral, which is weird, like it was just days before Prince Philip's funeral and she was harried with grief and busy asking her her son Seriously, are you a pedophile? Seriously? Are you are you though?

Dan Ilic  17:24  
Man? Isn't Christmas at the Royals this year? It would have been extremely awkward all year round.

James Colley  17:29  
Oh, yeah. You know, like you've got Philips gone. Andrews in trouble. The queen is already dead. But they've got big sunglasses on her and no one is allowed to ask any questions.

Dan Ilic  17:39  
Weekend at Lizzie's, that's what's going on there?

Lewis Hobba  17:43  
Yeah, but she starts drinking at like 9am. And you've always sort of been like, why does she do that? But the more you find out about the family, you're like, oh, fuck yeah. Founding and unit nine if my if I was a pedophile in my family that I'd been hiding for decades.

Bridie Connell  17:57  
100%

Dan Ilic  17:59  
just so do you think Bo Joe is gonna go James is Bo Joe? Is this the last offer by Joe?

James Colley  18:05  
I think it kind of has to be but then who's it? The Vinci who was like, part of the joy of this was denying the party and they'd Leakey give the press conference you had at the party addressing how we'd appropriate the party was going to be the footage of someone bringing drinks into the play, like short of photos of Boris Johnson in a party hat. Boy, we got one of those little I don't know what else they need.

Bridie Connell  18:31  
It's interesting, too, because I reckon, I think if the party was just objectively awesome, in Australia would be like, yeah, man, three more years. That was a fucking sick buddy. But just the description of like, just platters of sandwiches. It sounds like a terrible time like people are just some of them are in the garden. Like if you're gonna lose your job over a party, at least make it a really epic one. That's the real tragedy here.

Dan Ilic  19:01  
Yeah. You want to be doing coke off the treasurer's chest. That's what you want to be doing?

Lewis Hobba  19:06  
Yeah, you want a Christmas party?

James Colley  19:10  
I am shocked and disgusted that there was cocaine at a media party sickened by this and I wouldn't ever trust him. This

Dan Ilic  19:17  
might be a bit inside school for folks who listen to the podcast but Mumbrella betrayed rag that talks about the media all the time put out a put out a blog post this week saying yes, I'm letting people know that there was cocaine at the Christmas party last year. And we want to get ahead of the story as

Lewis Hobba  19:34  
it did last year, like four years ago.

Dan Ilic  19:36  
I was in for easy. I thought it was like it was December. No, no,

Lewis Hobba  19:39  
it was ages ago.

Dan Ilic  19:41  
Oh my god. This

Lewis Hobba  19:45  
honestly, like, it's so direct. It's like saying there were chips at the McDonald's birthday. It was such an insanely unnecessary post you like what were you afraid of that like other people medalists would go and go like bit Did you hear that? There was like drug versus party?

James Colley  20:04  
Are they busy snorting up at the walkway?

Dan Ilic  20:06  
Yeah, I've I got off the drugs the 2006 Lucky's maybe I should talk to somebody chattel tan.

James Colley  20:13  
Yeah. The real problem with this is there's still a media organization that can afford cocaine.

Unknown Speaker  20:21  
More than 800 police officers are in isolation tonight because of critical shortages of rapid antigen tests.

Bertha Announcement  20:29  
stampli stations have actually been forced to close in some local areas have been left without a local response.

Unknown Speaker  20:35  
Your fear is rational.

Dan Ilic  20:37  
This week's third fear Craig Kelly is up in Google and Facebook's face this week for removing United Australia party ads from their platforms. Now some of the ads that you put up were quite sensational. They make outrageous claims that aren't based in truth, you know, stuff like Craig Kelly and Clive Palmer would be good politicians, you know, stuff like that. And please vote for them, you know, stuff that everybody knows isn't true. There's also a bunch of stuff that got taken down that were or COVID conspiracies. Now out of the 57 ads that have been running on YouTube, only four got taken down, after they had been running for a week. And they'd been seen by millions and billions of people. It seems to be kind of almost pointless to even like like why even complained that four ads got removed out of 57. And millions of people already seen your ads. But what's interesting is the media is kind of focusing on this moment are the ads being pulled. But right down the bottom of all these articles has like the number has has money kind of spent by UAP on these ads. And I just want to share these these numbers for with you. Apparently 90% of all political advertising on YouTube, is done by the United Australia party. The next is done by by labor. Now the United Australia party spends $4.9 million on YouTube ads. And guess how much labour has spent? Louis Do you know how much labour would have spent? 50 grand? It's close 90 grand like $90,000 Compared to 4.9 million. Wow, isn't that just crazy. And here's, here's the thing, here's the strange thing. Like, there has been several bits of legislation to stop lying in political advertising go in front of this government for the last 10 years. But everyone in the coalition has been against it. So it's actually not illegal to lie in political advertising.

Lewis Hobba  22:29  
That sounds healthy. You're not even allowed to lie about like the shake weight, but you're fucking policy.

James Colley  22:36  
If you save it, your spray and wipe kills 100% of germs, they're gonna kick down your fucking door. Like, you know what, drink it and it will cure COVID That's cool. That's right.

Dan Ilic  22:46  
James, I forget your other head writer of grow and transfer. So you would know all of this kind of minutia, right? Well,

James Colley  22:53  
these ads are fascinating for us because they they pre roll ads and pre roll ads. Traditionally, you have five seconds to win your audience's attention. And it famously takes Craig Kelly seven seconds for his mouth to register that his brain is we're dealing as we described, the weekly we are dealing with the MP most likely to run into it wall with a tunnel painted on top of it. The stupidest person in Parliament, and that is grading on a curve. Like it is remarkable that this man is able to upload anything onto YouTube. But these ads go for so long and say so little. They're amazing. And but I've got to say if you're on YouTube, and you want to find a Craig Kelly video, the gold standard is when he is in his private apart like private the home quarantining for two weeks to enter Canberra. So instead, he sets up the red Ensign on the fence behind him, which means he is a boat, and he sits there and he bounces a ball against the wall. Like he's in the Shawshank bucket.

Dan Ilic  23:59  
I think I remember say that. Yeah. But they just so many other crazy things that he says in his YouTube ads, like there is like a Chinese Air Force Base in Western Australia. And there's a whole bunch of other kind of conspiracies like this, but they don't get taken down. But the COVID stuff gets taken down because it's it's kind of against Facebook and Google's policy to not spread misinformation about COVID.

James Colley  24:20  
Well, there's a very interesting part of this, which is that like, they have a three strike policy, they have a three strike policy, which is you should be banned for 90 days after your third strike. But gray Kelly's had, say six of his videos brought down at once. But that counts is one strike, because they were all brought down together. So it's like if you were like, well, technically I was on a crime spree so that your account was one scratch against my record.

Bridie Connell  24:45  
And that ties into something that I found funny about this reporting of the story. It's just a little semantic detail, but in a lot of the articles about this, it's like Google says it's doing all it can to take these ads down and I'm like, you though, like, I'm just weighed down by this whole point. $9 million, get all this money off me and then I can take them off the internet.

Dan Ilic  25:05  
I think it's so interesting though, that you can actually put out political advertising and you can you can line it like anyone could publish an ad saying that Scott Morrison is a good bloke who never lies, and you would never go to jail for that. Like you could even say, Barnaby Joyce is a family man who has the interests of farmers at heart and he couldn't even touch you for defamation. But you could you could spread so many lies with illegal advertising.

Bridie Connell  25:26  
Perhaps some of those products that we've mentioned before that want to spread some lies about how effective this sprays are at killing germs should just become a political party and keep their ads the same. And then they'll have no ramification.

Lewis Hobba  25:40  
Absolutely, I brought he's really onto something I would love to say companies turning into political parties to sort of both maybe get elected but also just sell products. Like if you just I just say political activists like vote Windex, yeah, don't smash the glass ceiling clean it.

Dan Ilic  25:56  
Yeah, I would. I would vote for crazy John's I mean, he looks like Craig Kelly, like crazy. John mobile phones could easily run for parliament and be great, blisteringly topical.

Bridie Connell  26:08  
It's a worry to me, though, that like even some of the cartoon spokespeople for many products that I can think of I would prefer to be leading the country. That that's a sad time. Yeah,

Lewis Hobba  26:20  
yeah. I worry that the only people who would do it would be James mowing and Dick Smith.

Unknown Speaker  26:27  
Open Society back up, restore our freedoms in this man.

Unknown Speaker  26:33  
I'm George Christensen, host of conservative one pandemic amassed the podcast, lifting the veil on the Chinese Communist Party created COVID-19 This is a rational fear.

Lewis Hobba  26:46  
A little while back, I was going I was deleting a bunch of shit from something. I found this old irrational fear joke from from before Scott Morrison was Prime Minister years and years before Scott Morrison was prime minister. It was a website that was I was actually we created Dan created, which was the Scott Morrison excuse generator. Oh,

James Colley  27:08  
I remember writing that exact face. Yeah.

Lewis Hobba  27:13  
I remember like thinking at the time, I was like, no one knows this Scott Morrison guy is I'm not sure this is gonna fly. But it would if we kept that up. It would be crashing right now.

Dan Ilic  27:22  
Is it still up? Did you? Did you find it bring it back?

Lewis Hobba  27:25  
I don't think it is. I seem to remember. I think the link was broken when I saw it.

James Colley  27:30  
Oh, yeah, it was like 2014. All the jokes are incredibly racist.

Dan Ilic  27:36  
Out of all the irrational fear kind of physical stance we've done I you know, like in the real world stuff I do. I do enjoy a good website or a good or a good billboard, as you know. But the thing that I love the most was the was the phone number was the WHO THE FUCK IS Prime Minister phone number which had the talking clock, which can tell you who was prime minister at that exact point in time because it had a great bit of code that you that would connect to the Wikipedia that would automatically change as soon as the Wikipedia entry for Australian Prime Minister was changed. So I remember on election night, just calling it hoping to hear change over and then of course, Scott Morrison won, so it's kind of pointless.

James Colley  28:16  
I missed the days where we've managed to convince Clive Palmer that we had just found a garbage bag full of the exact number of votes that he was missing. Right?

Dan Ilic  28:28  
Oh my god, you should

James Colley  28:29  
definitely go son.

Lewis Hobba  28:32  
He's back baby.

Dan Ilic  28:33  
We unfortunately have to postpone our opera house show. So for our 10 year anniversary, but I tell you what, we should probably do like a definite full retrospective kind of show. In the next few months before the election just to kind of reminisce about all if not just to be lazy and not write any new jokes. Just replay the old ones

James Colley  28:53  
to play the last 1000 years of liberal darkness.

Dan Ilic  28:56  
I was gonna play an old all the rational fi video with James Colley. But I thought I just hold off. Oh, now I'm curious. So hang on a second. Oh.

Lewis Hobba  29:08  
This is fans. Yeah, I'm really curious about this. Oh, boy. Oh, I mean, comedy is known for aging. Well, so Kali

Dan Ilic  29:17  
came to me ages ago and said I can can I be an irrational fear? This is when I was like writing irrational fear out of my out of my kitchen. And I said, Yo,

Lewis Hobba  29:26  
you just done a bullshit degree in astrophysics.

James Colley  29:31  
Yeah. And I thought, let's focus on something challenging.

Dan Ilic  29:37  
And so I kind of, I kind of wanted to go to Kings Cross and interview people in Kings Cross about, you know, this is when Kings Cross was like raging, and there were so many drunk people in Kings Cross and this is before the lockout laws happened. The whole premise of it was to ask the people of Kings trust to solve the problems and looking back at it. It's So it feels so ancient like it feels like 1000 years ago.

James Colley  30:05  
So what you need to understand is these people have just come from a Mumbrella after party.

Dan Ilic  30:11  
So this is the first one of the first ever videos we ever made for rational fear. I'm on the microphone interviewing drunk people in James You are filming as we go. Why don't we play hang on a sec, if anyone wants to stop this as we go just say hang on a sec. Here we go. rational

Unknown Speaker  30:27  
thinking cross crosses for

Unknown Speaker  30:29  
decades. How do you fix that? Well, you can't really see Australian culture you guy you get drunk and you become a dickhead. I'll tell you the problem.

Lewis Hobba  30:40  
The way to fix it

Dan Ilic  30:45  
Yeah, in retrospect, that was the solution. And housing prices went up

Unknown Speaker  30:50  
everyone's just drugs. I'm not gonna lie. Everyone's on drugs. You just got to get paid. Suggestions. Just honestly kick every violent person out of King

Unknown Speaker  31:00  
scops and dog because he's a wombat.

Unknown Speaker  31:04  
With alcohol alcohol problem I don't believe in it because guess why I'm alcoholic myself.

Unknown Speaker  31:09  
So let me ask you a question. How do we fix global warming? Turn off you hate is is a carbon tax got to do with that. That bad saving carbon or something?

Unknown Speaker  31:19  
Less mobile phones, cars all that shit. Go back to old school just walking in that

Unknown Speaker  31:25  
will get pyramids. And buses made no more buses nothing. Continue shuffling.

Unknown Speaker  31:29  
Where's the problem of China and India are the problems. Level actually.

Unknown Speaker  31:37  
I think we just go I mean by solving the whaling the whaling is a problem?

Unknown Speaker  31:43  
I don't believe in it. But actually I'll do because fucking Julian

Unknown Speaker  31:47  
I believe in global warming. You can't prove it right now. Are we warm me up? No. Cuz we're not. I'm pretty fucking cold. It's called

Unknown Speaker  31:58  
global warming tonight. Global warming will be fucking I'll take my shirt off right now. Take it off. I'll take it off.

Unknown Speaker  32:03  
Come on. It's global warming. Everyone's like it comes on stage. Hang

Bridie Connell  32:07  
on a sec. Just cuz I just need just two seconds. Here these men. All of these men now I promise you have high profile corporate jobs in Sydney

Dan Ilic  32:23  
with a short without a doubt. And they still believe the same thing.

Lewis Hobba  32:28  
They're selling the properties in Potts points that have gone up 200% Because they shut down fun in the cross.

Dan Ilic  32:33  
I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure we interviewed the cost of Sydney Lux listing so I'm pretty sure that

Lewis Hobba  32:40  
those two bled out guys who were like, not just China and India like those were the people at COP 26 representing Australia to fuck me

Unknown Speaker  32:50  
what make the ice caps melt? What was it frozen ice melts, it cools down the rest of the earth.

Unknown Speaker  32:59  
What do you not let

Unknown Speaker  33:01  
me just get a lot out of government. Maybe

Unknown Speaker  33:03  
that might help. That's a big one. Yeah, get a lot out of grab a woman.

Unknown Speaker  33:07  
I don't give a fuck about global warming right getting pizzas Yana pizza. What about gay marriage? Personally? It's Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Steve.

Unknown Speaker  33:19  
I'm not against guys. But gay marriage is fucking a bit too fun. Guys, yeah, you guys.

James Colley  33:27  
Very disappointed in Stuart Lee on the left.

Unknown Speaker  33:32  
Guys have civil unions already. So it's exactly the same writers game like men and women marriages. Why do they have to have the same as us? Kind of like black people? Well, no, not kind of like black people. Because marriage is traditional. You can't go against tradition. That's what I'm saying. Like slavery. Not against slavery. No, slavery is pretty traditional. Its traditional. But it's wrong.

Unknown Speaker  33:57  
Like gay marriage is cool, man. Because everyone says God is like, our main merchant ship. God didn't make marriage. It's a man made thing, man. of fact, but 50 years ago that no we're voting I'm pretty sure it's a lie. I made that up in the spot. But yeah, look at it. Look at him. we're innovating. Women are marrying men and married. There's nothing wrong with it. It's

Unknown Speaker  34:24  
two males that want to get down to business buddy can ask this that. It's up to them. I'm against

Unknown Speaker  34:33  
against my religion. What about if it wasn't your religion? If it wasn't my religion, if he had a different religion?

Unknown Speaker  34:41  
What would have been sensitive about it?

Dan Ilic  34:49  
Those are the days so dies on the rest of 2012.

Bridie Connell  34:53  
The only thing that I like that that was a brief reprieve from that Frank A horrifying couple of minutes of the day was the guy who was like, for climate change. Let's get pizzas which I reckon as a policy slogan. I would vote for that party every time. Sadly, they weren't

James Colley  35:13  
called Five pizzas.

Dan Ilic  35:17  
That is it for a rational fee. Big thank you to James Koehler, he Bridey. Connell and Lewis, how about now James and Bridey? You guys have got a brand new podcast that you you want to plug on the show.

Bridie Connell  35:31  
We know two best friends who decided to start a podcast we thought it's never been done.

James Colley  35:38  
If you enjoy political satire, you're going to love us pouring through the horrible vanity albums of B list celebrities in vanity project.

Bridie Connell  35:48  
Yes, it's a very fun time. And there are a surprising amount of vanity albums out there. So we are having a great old time going through them and it's been really fun so far.

Lewis Hobba  35:58  
Who have you done a bar?

Dan Ilic  36:00  
I? Well, I've been listening to the Paris Hilton episode that you guys did with Beck shore. And I have to say, every time you play a song, I simultaneously get annoyed when you cut it off. Didn't start talking and kissing doesn't like hang on a second though. It's actually pretty good. What's going on there? Paris Hilton. She's a She's a superstar waiting to have a

Bridie Connell  36:20  
truly it's been my favorite album that we've covered so far.

James Colley  36:23  
I can tell you our next album up is Steven Seagal songs from the crystal cave and you will not have that feeling. Wow,

Bridie Connell  36:32  
you're like life will flash before your eyes if you listen to this.

Dan Ilic  36:37  
And the name of the podcast is vanity project. Is it? vanity project? Yeah, you can listen to it wherever you get podcasts big thank you also to rode mics, the birth of foundation and our Patreon supporters as well as Jacob round on the Tepanyaki timeline. Now we had a whole stack of people sign up to Patreon from last week so big thank you to people signing up Sarah Brennan Chris Brooks Elaine van Bergen, Lucy M Peter Clayton pebbles Alinsky. Roz quirk, Sean McQueen, Abdul Youssef and Matt best you're the best so please, if you like this podcast, please subscribe to patreon.com forward slash irrational fear. And if you want some joke keeper stickers for the first people to sign up to the $14 a month level I will send you out a sticker pack with all of the joke keeper stickers I can muster so please do sign up and I'll shoot you out a joke keeper sticker pack I noticed. Peter Lola on the on the text has already said free jokey billboards count me in. Well, Peter, I've already sent him an envelope. It's on the way Peter, it's going out to you. It's going out already. It's

James Colley  37:40  
going to break the back of your poster.

Bridie Connell  37:44  
Not it's a tiny child and a full clip.

Dan Ilic  37:48  
Anything else you want to plug before we go Louis?

Lewis Hobba  37:50  
No nothing for me dan.

James Colley  37:52  
I've got some vintage irrational fear sticker packs here. So

Dan Ilic  37:58  
I got that poster that says Tony Abbott bad Rastro

Well, that is it. That is it for the show. b Thank you everyone. We'll see you next time until next week. There's always something to be scared of. And you know what, you know, maybe we'll just rather than do like a long retrospective. We should just play a little bit of something from old days once once an episode or something like that. That's fun. Oh,

James Colley  38:25  
I'd love to be edited out of that.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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