Totaṗuri's immersion attempt and realization

One of the distinctive features of Kālī pūjā is animal sacrifice. But you know, this is only practice for a much greater sacrifice: the killing of the paśu, that is, one's own sense of limited self. 

Notice how Sri Ramakrishna used the same sword that is reserved for the goat sacrifice to offer Mā Kālī his own head (the best form of Nara Bali, human sacrifice) and also how later in his sādhana, he used a subtle, internal sword to cut even his beloved Kālī in half, to discover Her formless aspect? 

This krama (process) of killing the literal, external animal, then killing the "paśu" (the animal within) and then finally even killing Mā as the "other" or "object of devotion" (in order to recognize Her as the Self) are the three stages of Tāntrik sādhana that I hope to explore with you a little bit in this talk.

You see, to become Śiva you must first kill Brahmā as per the foundational Puranic story of the beheading of Brahmā and the transformation of Śiva into Bhairava, the Kāpālika par excellence. This narrative arc is the age old process of going beyond religion to spirituality, from externalized institutions to the interiority of genuine mysticism. Its at its core a story about transcending the rules and regulations (and above all, externally and societally informed purity codes of the Vedācāra all of which at one point can be spirituality productive but eventually become obstacles to intimacy, to true interiorization. 

And to get to Mā you have to then kill Śiva! Otherwise, on what corpse will Mā dance? 

We gave this talk a day or two after the Śyāma-Kālī pūjā and clearly we're in some kind of bhåva because this might be one of our more controversial, yet most honest and if I may say so, most inspired  discussions we've had in a while: 

Khadganāthāya namah! 
Śīghram! Śīgrham! Kuru Kuru Svāhā!
Mā, idam māmsa ca raktam! Mā, esha sa-pradīpa śirsha! 
Rudhirapriye, Balipriye, 
Grhna imam! Grhna imam! 
Prasīda, prasĩda! Siddhi me bhavatu, Devī 
Tvat prasādān, Vameśvarī!

Salutations to the performer of the animal sacrifice!
Quickly! Quickly! Do it, quickly! May it be an offering!
O Mā, here is some meat! Here is some blood! Here is the severed head with the burning lamp!
O You who are fond of blood and sacrifice,
Come! Come and take this and be pleased, Mother!
Grant us power and perfection, O Goddess of the Left, 
By Your grace alone is anything possible. 

Mā
Lead us from religion to spirituality
From externalized institutions to the interiority of genuine mysticism 
From purity to power
From morality to freedom 
From the periphery to the centre!

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