Recognizing DARVO in real conversations

Megan Phelp’s 4 rules for productively engaging with people who you disagree with:

• Don’t assume bad intent but instead, assume good or neutral intent.
• Ask questions: This signals that the person is being heard, and they also feel safer to ask questions in return.
• Stay calm: "right" doesn’t justify "rude". Pause, step away, use a digital buffer for social media exchanges, and then come back.
• Make the argument: don’t assume the value of your position should be obvious; it isn’t to others. If we want them to change, make the case for it.

DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim + Offender - Aggressive avoidance of accountability

SEP: Somebody Else's Problem - Passive avoidance of accountability

Tips for talking to people you disagree with: https://ideas.ted.com/4-tips-for-talking-to-people-you-disagree-with/

DARVO wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO

SEP wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somebody_else%27s_problem

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