How Do You Help Kids Deal With Adversity?

How do you help players learn to deal with adversity in a way that still maintains and builds a relationship with them? Do they argue with the official when they miss a lay up? Do they go and, you know, this is on girls do this is been awhile some coach. Girls basket at guyss do this a ton. I think from just a small, kind of, i won't say thats insignificant level, but a small level is how they handle it if the official makes a call that they deem inappropriate.