Why do we become therapists?

You wouldn’t necessarily think this is a spicy topic, but it is.

Some therapists would say that we as therapists are just people who are unusually compassionate, empathetic, and giving, even selfless or altruistic.

I don’t agree.

I don't think we're more inherently compassionate or giving people than anybody else. Often, we're people who took on caregiver roles in our families of origin and we learned to give in order to get, and ultimately, we’re no less selfish than anyone else.

But if you say that out loud in a group of therapists, as I have, they will bristle. Unless it’s on Facebook or Twitter, and then it will be a flame war.

The first answer is obviously the more flattering version - the version that’s been run through Instagram filters. The second answer might not be as flattering, but it might be more real.

Why does it matter what we think our reasons are for becoming therapists? Why do we need to accept the less flattering portrait of ourselves?

Because whether we acknowledge it or not, it’s in the room with our clients.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

Why the grandiosity of thinking we’re more compassionate or altruistic is a problem for our work as clinicians
How attachment to the self-belief that we are especially compassionate is connected to moral injury, burnout, and shame
Why we have to acknowledge that making sense of people often motivates us at therapists
Why it’s necessary to interrogate our relationship to power and influence in our roles as therapists

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