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Dr. Jeff Wetzler, author of Ask, joins Cal Walters to unpack a leadership blind spot: the crucial information your team has… but isn't telling you. Jeff explains the "left-hand column" (what people think and feel but don't say), the four reasons honesty gets filtered, and the ASK Approach—a practical framework for choosing curiosity, building psychological safety, asking better questions, and closing the loop when feedback is hard to act on.
If you want better decisions, healthier relationships, and fewer surprises, this conversation will give you a playbook.
Episode Outline / Timestamps
00:00 The hidden information problem
00:41 Guest intro + what you'll learn
01:37 Chris Argyris + the "left-hand column" tool
08:07 Four reasons people don't tell you the truth
12:06 Why smart/successful leaders struggle to learn
13:55 Jeff's near miss: one question that revealed the truth
15:45 Psychological safety: why curiosity alone isn't enough
21:35 Reactivity: the biggest predictor of future honesty
22:18 Responding well to hard feedback
25:00 The ASK Approach: Choose curiosity
29:48 Curiosity killers + "When you're furious, get curious"
32:29 Busy leaders: "Pay now or pay later"
36:40 Quality questions vs. crummy questions
40:04 Better questions for feedback and performance reviews
44:07 Go-to questions for parties and relationships
47:48 Questions as a gift: helping others gain clarity
49:55 How to handle feedback you won't follow
51:08 Reflect & reconnect: sift it, turn it, and close the loop
53:13 Cal's takeaways and practical challenges
Practical Challenges to Try This Week
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Replace: "Do you have feedback for me?"
With: "What's one thing I could do differently that would make your life easier?"
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When you feel defensive, ask one question before making a statement.
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When someone brings hard truth, try:
"That's hard to hear—and I'm really glad you told me."
