Growing Up With Absent Men: Adult Repatterning

In this episode of Trauma Rewired, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof welcome author, speaker, and embodiment coach Preston Smiles for a powerful conversation on the Father Wound — and how paternal presence or absence shapes the nervous system.

Together, they explore how a father's regulation, emotional availability, and play patterns influence brain development, stress physiology, attachment, intimacy, and leadership. Drawing from both lived experience and developmental research, this episode examines the real impact of masculine containment — not through blame, but through understanding.

From childhood patterning to adult relationships, parenting, and community repair, this conversation offers grounded insight, somatic depth, and a hopeful path toward nervous system healing.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Intro/The Good Boy Pattern

• 08:00 – The Father Wound

• 17:30 – Play and Masculine Energy

• 33:30 – Shame and Reclaiming the Masculine

• 52:30 – Capacity and Embodied Partnership

Key Takeaways:

• The fatherwound isn't just emotional, it's neurological and somatic, shaping how we regulate stress, relate, and play.

• Healthy masculine presence supports brain development through movement, physical play, safety, and co-regulation.

• Many relational patterns come from what was never modeled, not from personal failure.

• Healing happens through embodied experience, safe relationships, and repeated nervous system repair, not just insight.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Bridge Method – Workshops led by Preston Smiles: https://www.thebridgemethod.org/

• Spiritual Millionaire, by Preston Smiles: https://preston-davis.mykajabi.com/book

• Instagram: @PrestonSmiles: https://www.instagram.com/prestonsmiles/

Call to Action:

• Neurosomatic Intelligence is now enrolling : https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/nsi-certification

• Learn to work with Boundaries at the level of the body and nervous system at https://www.boundaryrewire.com

• Get a two-week free trial of neurosomatic training at https://rewiretrial.com

• Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.

• Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.

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Sources:

Flinn, M. V. & England, B. G. (2003). Social economics of childhood glucocorticoid stress response and health.

Laurent, H. K. et al. (2013). Synchrony of hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis activity in parents and infants.

Feldman, R. et al. (2010). Parent–infant synchrony and the construction of shared timing.

Amato, P. R. & Gilbreth, J. G. (1999). Nonresident fathers and children's well-being.

Ellis, B. J. et al. (1999). Quality of early family relationships and timing of puberty.

Meaney, M. J. & Szyf, M. (2005). Environmental programming of stress responses through DNA methylation.

Disclaimer:

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