Retreat Structure: Safety, Listening, Regulation Tools

Tucker Boyle has spent over 25 years teaching Seminary and Institute for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where he has worked closely with youth and young adults to help them deepen their relationship with Jesus Christ and navigate real-life challenges with faith and awareness. He has served as a Young Single Adult bishop and in other leadership callings, giving him a front-line perspective on the complexities individuals face in their spiritual journeys.

Tucker is the founder of Harmony Road Retreats, a nonprofit organization that creates compassionate, supportive spaces for individuals wanting to find inner harmony while experiencing shifts in their faith. Through retreats, teaching, and his podcast Call to Harmony, he helps people develop practical tools for navigating spiritual dissonance, regulating the nervous system, and cultivating a more grounded, personal connection with God. He lives in Spanish Fork, Utah, with his wife Katie and their five children.

Links

https://www.harmonyroadretreats.com/
What I Learned About Leadership When My 2nd Counselor Left the Church
ChurchofJesusChrist.org Topics and Questions
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Transcript available with the video in the Zion Lab community

Highlights

Tucker talks about navigating faith crises and transitions. The discussion explores the intellectual and physiological aspects of questioning faith, moving beyond “black and white” thinking to find spiritual peace through connection and the heart.

00:02:21 – Tucker’s Faith Crisis Journey
00:03:24 – Understanding Faith Crisis Beyond Doubt
00:04:05 – Importance of Community in Faith Transitions
00:04:32 – Tucker’s Experience in Teaching
00:05:43 – Observations on Youth and Young Adults
00:06:31 – Trusting the Goodness of the Younger Generation
00:07:11 – Defining Faith Crisis and Faith Journey
00:08:28 – Tucker’s Personal Faith Crisis Experience
00:09:01 – The Impact of Seeking Other Perspectives
00:10:37 – The Challenge of Balancing Beliefs
00:11:54 – The Role of the Dissertation Chair
00:12:38 – Navigating Fear and Doubt in Research
00:14:03 – The Dissolution of Testimony Pillars
00:15:17 – The Moment of Psychological Free Fall
00:16:21 – The Question of Wasting Time in Faith
00:17:03 – The Complexity of Belief and Doubt
00:18:03 – The Nature of Testimony Pillars
00:19:21 – The Challenge of Seeing Humanity in Divinity
00:20:58 – The Shift from Certainty to Complexity
00:22:46 – The Experience of Testimony in Church
00:23:40 – The Impact of Testimony on Personal Faith
00:24:53 – The Role of Nervous System in Faith Experiences
00:26:54 – The Importance of Self-Regulation
00:28:24 – The Journey of Healing and Understanding
00:30:31 – The Non-Linear Nature of Faith Journeys
00:31:13 – The Moment of Clarity and Love
00:33:08 – The Temporary Nature of Spiritual Experiences
00:34:24 – The Shift Back to Struggle
00:36:08 – Understanding the Faith Crisis Experience
00:37:41 – The Journey Towards Harmony
00:39:44 – The Role of Heart vs. Mind in Faith
00:41:06 – The Transformation Through Faith Crisis
00:43:22 – Embracing Complexity in Belief
00:45:01 – Gratitude for the Faith Crisis Experience
00:45:34 – Moving Forward with New Perspectives

Key Insights

The Nature of Faith Crisis: A faith crisis is often experienced as a physical response in the nervous system, where the world feels like it is falling apart, rather than just an intellectual disagreement.
The Trap of Certainty: Boyle describes his own journey from a “black and white” mindset of having every answer to encountering complexity that dissolved his traditional “pillars” of testimony.
Leading with the Heart: While the mind seeks to label, divide, and categorize, the heart can hold nuance, questions, and imperfections in church history or leadership that the analytical mind cannot.
Spiritual Regulation: Finding peace often requires “stepping back” from a stressed mind through practices like meditation, allowing for an openness to God even when specific questions remain unanswered.
Trusting in God’s Reach: A central theme is the belief that individuals cannot “get out of God’s reach,” and that His love is not dependent on common organizational membership.

Leadership Applications

Creating Safe Spaces: Leaders can support those in transition by listening without an agenda to “fix” or judge them, ensuring the individual feels safe and “not othered” within the community.
Managing Parental and Leader Panic: Tucker advises leaders to trust in the “deep goodness” of the youth and recognize that God’s plan is large enough to encompass their questions and journeys.
Focusing on Connection Over Advice: Instead of providing a “five-point plan” or intellectual rebuttals, leaders should focus on maintaining a loving relationship, mirroring the “eternal bond” offered by God and Christ.

The award-winning Leading Saints Podcast is one of the top independent Latter-day Saints podcasts as part of nonprofit Leading Saints’ mission to help Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. Find Leadership Tools, Courses, and Community for Latter-day Saint leaders in the Zion Lab community. Learn more and listen to any of the past episodes for free at LeadingSaints.org.

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