Why do so many relationships lose intimacy over time, even when love is still there?
In this episode of Midlife Chrysalis, Chip Conley talks with renowned couples therapist Terry Real, creator of Relational Life Therapy and bestselling author of Fierce Intimacy and The New Rules of Marriage. For decades, Terry has helped couples understand why connection fades—and how to rebuild it.
In this conversation, he explains:
- Why love requires skills most people were never taught
- How childhood patterns quietly shape adult relationships
- Why traditional masculinity often blocks emotional intimacy
- How couples can reignite connection in midlife
Terry argues that relationships don’t fail because people stop caring, they fail because no one teaches us how to do intimacy well.
Watch the episode to learn the relationship skills that can change everything.
Timestamps:
01:30 Terry Real joins from Anguilla
03:01 What is Relational Life Therapy (RLT)
03:54 Why RLT takes sides in couples therapy
06:18 The core principles of RLT
08:14 Trauma triggers and childhood patterns in relationships
11:59 What holds men back in relationships
15:04 Redefining masculinity for intimacy
16:25 Patriarchy and the modern relationship crisis
18:23 Relational joy vs gratification culture
22:44 Reigniting intimacy as empty nesters
27:03 Why couples must confront resentment
29:46 Independence vs connection in long-term relationships
33:24 Are you really happy in your relationship
36:53 Why relationships require practice and skill
40:08 Wisdom bumper sticker
Learn more about MEA at https://www.meawisdom.com/
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