When she was in high school, she surprised herself and delighted her boyfriend by squirting all over his face. But the incident alarmed her enough to set off a neurotic need to pee before every sexual encounter. How can she get out of her head about it, and allow for spontaneity in her current, awesome sex life?

A woman is in an in a polyamorous, fantastic, committed relationship full of compersion. Sounds great right? The problem? When they get "activated" he tells her he needs to be with someone who is more intellectually aligned with him. Because you see, he has a Phd in engineering, and she has a mere bachelor in fine arts. When he says things like this, is it just an "avoidant deactivation tactic?"

Let's move on. We are so excited about our guest this week! Nico Carney is a Brooklyn based comedian whose stand-up covers his experiences as a trans man from the South. He and Dan talk about how using humor works so much better than scolding to bring people in to understanding of trans experiences. They talk about genital preferences, and the benefits of interrogating your desires. And, FYI, after coming out in college, Nico still bagged hot chicks. Not a problem. A little is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.

And, do you have problems? Serious ones? This gal's problem is that her boyfriend loses her lighter sometimes.

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, animal lover, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From squirting, to sexting, kissing to kink and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since you were a little, bitty baby.

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