Why You’re Afraid to Open Up | Leslie John
The Art of Charm
Practical tips: ask more, pitch less
Leslie and AJ recommend question-asking to learn, persuade, and elicit disclosure in dates and negotiations.
Harvard Business School professor Leslie John joins AJ and Johnny to unpack why we systematically get vulnerability wrong.
We obsess over the risks of sharing and ignore the cost of staying silent. From dating profiles and first impressions to leadership, feedback, and negotiation, Leslie explains how to decide what to reveal, when to reveal it, and how to frame it so it builds trust instead of regret.
If you’ve ever worried about TMI — or held back and felt distance grow — this episode gives you a smarter way to think about disclosure.
Chapters
00:00 – Why we misjudge vulnerability
08:00 – Emotional vocabulary and instant connection
18:00 – The cost of silence vs. the risk of sharing
28:00 – Dating profiles and the “less is more” trap
40:00 – Leadership vulnerability without losing authority
52:00 – A simple 2x2 framework for disclosure decisions
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on TikTok
vulnerability, disclosure, emotional intelligence, communication skills, leadership trust, dating psychology, social connection, feedback conversations, negotiation skills, emotional vocabulary, decision making, relationship building, psychological safety, transparency vs vulnerability
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The AI-powered Podcast Player
