In this raw and transformative episode of Wholehearted Leadership, host Lantz Howard sits down with Dr. Wayne Chappelle (aka Dr. C), a clinical and sports psychologist with over two decades of experience serving military special operations, the OKC Thunder, and high-profile leaders like Craig Groeschel. As co-author of the new book Heal Your Hurting Mind , Dr. Chappelle shares profound insights on achieving extraordinary results while maintaining wholeness in life, leadership, and relationships.
From identifying the "7 wounds" that derail men (bottle, money, zipper, temperament, wolves, pride/ego, jealousy/envy, control) to candid discussions on sexual integrity in marriage, reframing anxiety and trauma as growth opportunities, and avoiding burnout through intentional rhythms, this conversation is a blueprint for men seeking to lead with heart and resilience. Whether you're a leader, husband, or high-performer, Dr. Chappelle's blend of behavioral science and biblical wisdom will challenge and equip you.
Key Timestamps:
- 00:00 - Introduction and welcome to Dr. Wayne Chappelle
- 02:03 - Dr. Chappelle's professional journey: From clinical psychology to special ops and sports
- 03:37 - Personal life: 31 years of marriage, recent dates, and leadership lessons
- 07:20 - The 7-8 wounds that wreck high-achieving men (and how to spot them)
- 10:27 - The power of "wingmen" – Story of General Petraeus and protecting yourself from yourself
- 13:52 - Wounds vs. human vulnerabilities: Why strengths can become weaknesses
- 15:35 - Dr. Chappelle's personal vulnerabilities and the thorn in Paul's side
- 16:35 - Deep dive: Sexual integrity, zipper wounds, and why Christian men struggle most here
- 20:42 - Reframing porn, arousal, and masturbation in marriage – Biblical insights from Song of Solomon
- 23:10 - Emotional needs behind sexual desires: Connection, admiration, and heroism
- 26:30 - Practical advice: Self-control, frequency, and avoiding selfishness in solo sex
- 30:58 - Bringing secrets into the light: Role of wingmen, therapists, and open talks
- 34:54 - Genesis of Heal Your Hurting Mind with Craig Groeschel – From exhaustion to endurance
- 37:10 - Engineering life for joy: Mindset, habits, adventure (flying, jiu-jitsu), and authentic masculinity
- 40:15 - Navigating burnout: Diet, exercise, sleep, and intentional rest
- 41:51 - Reframing anxiety: Embrace 5-7 levels for optimal performance – Anti-pop psychology
- 44:22 - Trauma as opportunity: Diamonds under pressure and Romans 8:28
- 48:35 - Closing encouragement: Continuous growth, seeking help, and becoming your best self
Resources Mentioned:
- Book: Heal Your Hurting Mind by Craig Groeschel and Dr. Wayne Chappelle
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If this episode resonates, share it with a friend – especially the segment on sexual integrity (20:42-30:58). Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube for more conversations on wholehearted leadership. Follow Lantz on LinkedIn or visit lantzhoward.com for coaching and resources.
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