Episode Highlights With Paul
- What horizontal relationships are and why they matter
- How vertical dynamics create shame and resistance
- The nervous system connection in parenting and how this can help us be more connected and effective in relationship with our children
- How Freud and Richard Adler differed on the topic of horizontal relationships and trauma
- Practical examples for shifting into horizontal parenting
- The flaw with superior positions in relationships and how this robs us of our confidence and autonomy
- “Self sacrifice” and how it's a nobler term for self abandonment and how we program this into our kids
- How the vertical side uses extreme circumstances to argue for vertical relationships
- Why connection > control in raising autonomous adults
- How repair builds lifelong trust
- How this approach makes you a better leader everywhere else in your life
- Utility verticality vs relational verticality
- Reputation and the puppet strings it has on us as human beings and how this comes into play in parenting
- It isn’t that the strong survive.. It is the connected that survive
- Punishment: So much of punishment is laziness on the parents part and the fear of reputation
- It isn’t about just changing the behavior but addressing the underlying reason and capacity
- Forgiveness isn’t the letting go of what happened but the softening of the blame
- There are over 400 unique characteristics that will emerge in your child regardless of how you parent them
- How this can create space for a both/and instead of an either/or in parenting
- Guilt perpetuated by reputation and verticality
- After age 7, our role as a parent is to be a safe place for a child's exploration of themselves
Resources Mentioned
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