When Guilt and Shame Become Non-Adaptive

Have you ever found yourself holding onto feelings of guilt or shame long after a difficult experience or mistake? 

In this episode, Jill sits down with Dr. Carolyn Allard, a leading voice in trauma-focused psychology and research. Together, they unpack the complex nature of guilt and shame, especially when these emotions become non-adaptive in the face of trauma or hardship. 

Carolyn, who is also the author of Transform Your Guilt and Shame: Evidence-Based Strategies to Heal from Trauma and Adversity, shares how to recognize the difference between guilt and shame and introduces the idea of “non-adaptive guilt and shame” (NAGS). 

You’ll gain insight into how these emotions link to moral injury and other trauma responses, and walk away with actionable tools such as hindsight bias and justification analysis to better understand, challenge, and manage them.

Listen and Learn: 

• How guilt and shame differ lies in focus, as guilt is about actions and shame is about identity, and why they matter
• How moral injury can emerge from situations where individuals face impossible choices that conflict with their values, leading to lasting feelings of guilt and shame
• Why we feel non-adaptive guilt and shame often comes down to distorted beliefs about responsibility, justification, and values, and how understanding these patterns helps us break free from self-blame and move toward self-compassion
• How hindsight bias can trick us into unfair self-judgment, and by reflecting on our choices and context at the time, we can gain a clearer, kinder perspective
• Understanding the difference between accountability (being answerable) and responsibility (having control or intention) and how this helps us untangle guilt and shame, process mistakes effectively, and break the self-reinforcing cycles of trauma that impair our ability to act according to our values

Resources: 

• Transform Your Guilt and Shame: Evidence-Based Strategies to Heal from Trauma and Adversity: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781433843419 
• Carolyn’s Website: https://www.carolynallardphd.com/
• Connect with Carolyn on Social Media: 

Bluesky: 

https://bsky.app/profile/carolynallardphd.bsky.social

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/p/Carolyn-Allard-PhD 

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolyn-allard-99749155/

About Carolyn B. Allard

Carolyn B. Allard ,PhD, ABPP, is internationally recognized for her trauma-focused research and clinical expertise. She is a licensed, board-certified clinical psychologist, Distinguished Professor and Program Director of the Clinical Psychology PhD Program at Alliant International University. Before that, she directed a trauma clinic at the VA San Diego Healthcare System and served as clinical faculty at the University of California San Diego. Carolyn also serves on the executive council of the American Psychological Association’s Trauma Division and its scientific journal’s editorial board, and has over 200 scientific publications and presentations. For over 20 years, she has been providing therapy, training and consultation in empirically supported therapy for posttraumatic distress; and conducting research focused on socio-cultural and contextual predictors of posttraumatic distress and treatment outcomes. She co-developed Trauma Informed Guilt Reduction (TrIGR), the evidence-based therapy that is the basis of her latest book, Transform Your Guilt and Shame, a self-guided workbook. Besides making psychology accessible, Carolyn is passionate about traveling and promoting compassion. Visit CarolynAllardPhD.com for more information.

Related Episodes:

• 118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth
• 416. Trauma and PTSD Treatment with Robyn Walser
• 383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo
• 417. Busting Trauma Treatment Myths with Emi Nietfeld
• 405. Taming the Inner Critic with Holly Yates and Shawn Whooley
• 341. Self-Forgiveness with Grant Dewar
• 279. ACT for Healing Black Racial Trauma with Jennifer Shepard Payne

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