The 'I don't ask' identity

Hey kids — it’s Michele.
This episode starts with a tiny restaurant moment (lemon… table… shade) that turned into a big coaching insight.  If you pride yourself on being “easy” and low-maintenance, you might also be practicing a lifelong habit of not asking for what you need.

And here’s the twist: plant-based consistency in the real world isn’t mostly about food. It’s about asking. Asking questions, requesting swaps, clarifying ingredients, and tolerating a few seconds of social awkwardness without abandoning yourself.

If you’ve ever eaten something “just to keep things simple”… this one’s for you.

In This Episode

• The difference between being “easy” and self-silencing
• Why asking can feel like “making a scene,” even when it’s totally reasonable
• The nervous-system reason you choose discomfort over disapproval
• How this shows up at restaurants, with family, at events, and while traveling
• A simple progression to build the “asking muscle” (without apology spirals)
• The Lemon Challenge: one small ask per day for 7 days

Key Takeaways

• Asking isn’t being difficult. It’s self-advocacy.
• Not asking means saying, “No,” to yourself.
• If your identity is “I don’t ask for things,” veganism can feel harder than it needs to.
• The win isn’t a perfect meal. The win is: “I didn’t sacrifice myself.”

Try This: The Lemon Challenge (7 Days)

For the next week, make one small request per day—at a restaurant, with a friend, at work or home, anywhere.

Rules:

• Keep it simple.
• Skip the apology spiral.
• The goal is making the ask, not getting a yes.

If you do it, I want to hear what you asked for and what you noticed.

Mentioned

• Café Sapori (West Palm Beach, FL) — a vegan-friendly restaurant shout-out

How you go vegan is how you do everything.
See you next week.

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