Levels of intimacy in relationships

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When he got home away from the crowd his disciples questioned him about the parable. He said to them, “Are even you likewise without understanding? Do you not realize that everything that goes into a person from outside cannot defile, since it enters not the heart but the stomach and passes out into the latrine?” Mark 7:17–19

We experience varying levels of intimacy in our relationships. Some acquaintances, such as neighbors or colleagues, we only know superficially, while with a spouse, sibling, or close friend, we share a much deeper bond. Yet, even in the most intimate human relationships—such as that of a longtime married couple—we never achieve perfect knowledge of the other person.

Similarly, our relationship with Christ must continually deepen. Unlike human relationships, however, God already knows us perfectly—better than we know ourselves. Still, He invites us to grow in knowledge and love of Him as He gradually reveals Himself to us. This ongoing process will continue not only in this life but even in eternity, as we behold the Beatific Vision. In Heaven, our union with God will be ever-expanding, as we enter more deeply into the infinite mystery of His divine presence.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus revealed Himself more clearly to His closest companions than He did to the crowds. His self-revelation came by way of an intimate teaching about the “parable” He taught to the people. In this context, Jesus’ parable was not a traditional parable but a short and direct statement that used symbolic language to convey a deeper spiritual truth. He taught the crowd: “Hear me, all of you, and understand. Nothing that enters one from outside can defile that person; but the things that come out from within are what defile” (Mark 7:14–15). While seemingly straightforward, this teaching is called a parable because it invites contemplation and requires deeper understanding to grasp its full spiritual significance.

In this parable, Jesus’ teaching challenged the crowd’s preconceived notions regarding purity and holiness. By addressing the heart as the true source of defilement, He invited His listeners to move beyond mere external observance of the law and to focus instead on the inner disposition of their souls. It’s also important to understand that He taught His close disciples in a more intimate way than He taught the crowds.

After teaching the crowds, Jesus and His disciples went “home,” where they questioned Him about the parable. This intimate moment teaches us that personal prayer is our own “home,” where we encounter Christ away from the distractions of the world. It is there that we must approach Him daily with questions—not out of doubt, but from a desire to know Him more deeply. Questions lead to attentive listening, understanding, and intimacy.

At the beginning of our relationship with God, He often speaks in more general terms. For those going through an initial conversion, Jesus’ general teachings are life-changing. As we mature in our faith and seek to deepen our relationship with God, we must see ourselves among Jesus’ close companions as they grew in holy intimacy. Doing so requires daily effort and intentionality. Just as a married couple cannot grow closer without meaningful communication, so too must we open our hearts to God each day, speaking honestly and listening attentively to His voice. Without this, our relationship with Him risks remaining superficial. 

Reflect today on the ways you approach your relationship with Christ. Do you seek Him in the quiet of your personal “home,” asking questions and listening attentively? Consider how you can make your prayer life more intentional, opening your heart to deeper understanding and communion with Him. Just as a loving spouse or a close friend takes time to speak and listen, so too must you dedicate time daily to converse with our Lord, allowing Him to lead you into the depths of His divine wisdom and love. 

My intimate Lord, You desire to reveal Yourself to me, to draw me into Your presence, and to converse with me more profoundly each day. Grant me the desire to know You, the resolve to listen attentively, and the grace to understand the depths of Your truth. Draw me ever closer, dear Lord, into a loving and intimate relationship with You. Jesus, I trust in You!

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