VAULT: values as a North Star

Today, Dr. Alexandra and fellow psychologist, author, and podcast host Dr. Tracy Dalgleish are digging into a dynamic that is notoriously difficult to navigate - if, of course, all the stereotypes and jokes and rhetoric are to be totally believed. Except in this conversation, they’re handling it with the compassion, nuance, and understanding that all relationships deserve. They are dissecting the dynamic between a woman, her husband and her mother-in-law, and the complexities often found in that triangle. 

Dr. Tracy’s book You, Your Husband, and His Mother explores this dynamic in such an insightful way and her offerings guide this conversation. She provides tools to help you understand the dynamics at play and to shift those dynamics in the most effective way we can: namely, by seeing our own patterns in relation to others’, meeting those patterns with compassion and understanding, and changing up our own dance moves.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why this dynamic can be so challenging, as well as the ways each vertice of the triangle might show up to shape the dynamic
• Strategies for prioritizing your relationship amidst family pressures
• Dr. Tracy’s Six Types of Mothers-in-Law and Three Styles of daughters-in-law 
• About Dr. Tracy’s VAULT method, which is an acronym that breaks down the steps you can take with your partner to shake up the dynamics of this triangle

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• You, Your Husband, and His Mother: Create a Healthy Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law--and Your Spouse--in Five Simple Steps by Dr. Tracy Dalgleish: https://bookshop.org/p/books/you-your-husband-and-his-mother-create-a-healthy-relationship-with-your-mother-in-law-and-your-spouse-in-five-simple-steps-dr-tracy-dalgleish/ff98565f5a7ef87a
• Follow Dr. Tracy D on IG: https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd/?hl=en
• Dr. Tracy D's podcast Dear Dr. Tracy: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/dear-dr-tracy/id1452433255
• Reimagining Love episode, Love, Acceptance, & Growth: The Insights We Glean from Couples Therapy with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/love-acceptance-growth-the-insights-we-glean-from-couples-therapy/
• NYT article on Mankeeping that Dr. Tracy references: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/07/28/well/family/mankeeping-definition.html

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

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