The Second Captain's T-Shirt

Eight weeks into the Premier League season and rampant Norwegian goal yeti Erling Haaland has already burned through the existing stockpile of superlatives. We trawl the archives in search of fresh supplies.

Meanwhile, Florentino Perez is back on the Super League war trail with a new battle cry: "Think of the Children." But is he right to see football as competing with entertainment products? 

John Brewin and Mark Critchley join us to talk through some of the weekend's action. Has Haaland proved Pep has spent the last ten years exploring a cul de sac? And how crushing is the impact of this result on the delicate flower of confidence at Man United

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