Idealization, Attachment, and Dating Apps

Have you ever found yourself caught in a whirlwind of infatuation, unable to discern between love and obsession? In this conversation, Dr. Alexandra and journalist and author Amanda McCracken discuss limerence, a state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings. Drawing from her compelling new book, When Longing Becomes Your Lover, Amanda shares her personal journey through the complexities of limerence, shedding light on how modern dating practices and social media amplify this intense emotional state. Beyond the macro/cultural factors, you will hear about the individual risk factors that can lead to patterns of limerence, such as painful early experiences and certain neuro-wirings/diagnoses, like ADHD and autism. You will also hear about how Amanda approached healing from her limerent patterns and opened herself up to a healthy, reciprocal intimate partnership.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• When Longing Becomes Your Lover: Breaking from Infatuation, Rejection, and Perfectionism to Find Authentic Love: A True Story of Overcoming Limerence by Amanda McCracken https://bookshop.org/p/books/when-longing-becomes-your-lover-breaking-from-infatuation-rejection-and-perfectionism-to-find-authentic-love-a-true-story-of-overcoming-limerence-a/ef0e30a5bd30e10b?aid=116429&ean=9781546008538&listref=2026-most-anticipated-memoirs-and-essay-collections&next=t
• Learn more about Amanda McCracken: https://www.amandajmccracken.com/
• Follow Amanda McCracken on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thelonginglab
• Listen to The Longing Lab Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-longing-lab/id1606581375
• Dr. Tom Bellamy’s Living With Limerence: https://livingwithlimerence.com/about/
• Reimagining Love episode Crushes, First Love, and Heartbreak: Supporting Teens Through Relationship Milestones with Lisa A. Phillips https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crushes-first-love-and-heartbreak-supporting-teens/id1588419386?i=1000704425459&l=ru

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

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