Failure Goals: Celebrate Attempts, Not Outcomes

Show Notes:

Nir Eyal, author of Hooked and Indistractable, talks about his new book Beyond Belief. Nir explains the inspiration for writing the book and the book's purpose: to help people process information and put it into practice. Nir shares his motivation for writing the book, focusing on the psychology of motivation and the importance of perseverance and adaptability. He talks about the missing component in moving from belief to action, and discusses the concept of motivation as a triangle, emphasizing the role of belief in sustaining motivation.

Beliefs Affecting Perception

The conversation turns to stories from the book about beliefs affecting perception, such as the Toyota vs. GM prism and the expensive vs. cheap glass of wine experiments that proved the participants actually believed to be truths based on the information received over the facts. Nir explains how beliefs can literally change what we see, citing examples like people on diets seeing food as larger and people with a fear of heights perceiving distances as further. He discusses how brands and luxury goods affect perception. Nir emphasizes that our beliefs shape what we see, feel, and do, and that understanding this can help us improve our lives.

Limiting vs Liberating Beliefs

When asked how to identify and change limiting beliefs, Nir explains that beliefs are tools, not truths, and that understanding this can help us improve our lives. Applying this approach to relationships to illustrate how it works, he shares a personal story about a conflict with his mother and how he used the Work of Byron Katie to question his beliefs. Nir outlines the four questions from "The Work" that help identify and change limiting beliefs: Is it true? Is it absolutely true? Who am I when I hold this belief? Who would I be without this belief?

Magical Thinking vs Mental Contrasting

Nir talks about how to apply the belief inventory to other areas of life, such as business and company culture. He explains that beliefs are the operating system of our minds and that understanding this can help us improve our relationships and business practices. He discusses the concept of mental contrasting, which involves visualizing both the desired outcome and the obstacles to achieving it. Nir emphasizes that magical thinking, such as positive thinking without action, can be harmful and that mental contrasting is a more effective approach.

Prayer for the Unfaithful

On the chapter about prayer in the book, Nir explains that prayer has benefits even without faith, citing a study where people who prayed, even without faith, had better pain tolerance. He shares his experience of interviewing five faith leaders to learn how to pray when uncertain about God. Nir discusses the benefits of prayer, such as longer life, more life satisfaction, and less depression, and how he has incorporated prayer into his life.

Setting Failure Goals

When questioned about the concept of failure goals, Nir explains that failure goals involve setting goals for how many times you try, rather than focusing solely on success. He discusses the importance of celebrating the process and the journey, rather than just the outcome.

Discipline in Practice

Nir shares that he has incorporated prayer and improved his relationships through new practices. He discusses the concept of daily mantras, such as "we are all working with the tools we have" and "love is measured by the benefit of the doubt," to help shed limiting beliefs. Nir emphasizes the importance of these practices in improving his psychological well-being and relationships.

Timestamps:

04:30: Beliefs Shaping Perception

09:09: Identifying and Changing Beliefs

22:05: Practical Applications of Belief Inventory

26:44: The Power of Prayer Without Faith

36:42: Failure Goals and Embracing Discomfort

41:56: Daily Practices and Mantras

Links:

The Book: geni.us/beyondbelief

Bonus content and the 30-Day Belief Transformation Journal:

nirandfar.com/beyond-belief

Website: http://nirandfar.com

Instagram - http://instagram.com/neyal99

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/nireyal/

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/user/nirandfar

Twitter - https://twitter.com/nireyal

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/nirandfar/

This episode on Umbrex: https://umbrex.com/unleashed/episode-638-nir-eyal-author-of-beyond-belief/

Unleashed is produced by Umbrex, which has a mission of connecting independent management consultants with one another, creating opportunities for members to meet, build relationships, and share lessons learned. Learn more at www.umbrex.com.

*AI generated timestamps and show notes.