Why Failure Reveals Identity

This episode includes discussion of eating disorders, including anorexia and bulimia. Listener discretion advised.

This might be one of the most powerful conversations I’ve ever had on How To Fail. I don’t say that lightly - I’ve had some amazing guests - but there’s something about how Jennette puts the female experience into words that I find truly electrifying.

Raised Mormon in Orange County, Jennette had a difficult, abusive childhood which she chronicled with unflinching honesty in her 2022 memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died - a book that spent more than 90 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list.

Her new novel, Half His Age, follows 17-year-old Waldo as she embarks on an affair with her 40-year-old creative writing teacher. It’s a startling, powerful story about discomfort, agency and self-determination and it became a Sunday Times Number One bestseller in its first week!

In this episode, we talk about her upbringing, her experience of disordered eating, the writing process and the grounding partner she’s been with for nine years (who I was lucky enough to meet). Plus: setting boundaries, finding your voice, rage, recovery and autonomy.

Recorded in our London studio.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

03:27 Speaking Up and Setting Boundaries

04:15 Reception of 'Half His Age'

07:22 Exploring Mormonism and Guilt

14:36 Failures and Creative Process

30:09 Calorie Restriction Lessons from My Mother

30:58 First Encounter with Anorexia

32:45 The Turning Point: Mother's Death and Recovery

32:58 Struggles with Bulimia

35:41 Therapy and the Road to Recovery

36:47 Understanding the Value of Eating Disorders

38:59 Healing Through Relationships

42:58 Finding My Voice and Inner Peace

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

I think oftentimes a woman is perceived as difficult if the person around her can't meet her standards.

It’s time that women start speaking up in any capacity - and not worrying about being 'too much'.

There is nothing more powerful than a woman's intuition. I believe our bodies have inherent knowledge... denying our bodies is nothing but a disservice to a better life path for ourselves.

If you feel resentment, it's time to set a boundary.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Jennette’s new book Half His Age is available to buy now

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

📚 WANT MORE?

Dolly Alderton – writing personal truth and navigating public scrutiny swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR

Matt Haig – mental health and transforming suffering into storytelling swap.fm/l/amHeyBr7x2jg3Isw3JxG

Jameela Jamil – body image, disordered eating and unlearning harmful conditioning swap.fm/l/D0j8oJQ52OwiJu6W3T4o

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Website: www.elizabethday.org

Elizabeth and Jennette (who is a naturally brilliant agony aunt) answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

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